The Yeti’s top four alternative break plans
Have you been waiting for the chance to reconnect with nature, that lusty old gal? Well, that’s what Spring Break is for. If you’re lucky enough to live on campus, your wait has come to an end. You don’t even need a tent—just stop walking about twenty feet outside the dorm you’ve been kicked out of and drop your things. Ah, the great outdoors. We know someone is going to be quite the Ultimate Frisbee player when class is back in session.
We at The Yeti will most likely be doing the expected slew of activities. Maybe a road trip or a home-town visit, either way it’s not the most exciting thing to talk about. Instead we’ve just been kicking around some new ideas to consider in the future:
- Take a road trip around campus and park in every parking garage while it’s actually possible to park in them.
- Go to your local shooting range. 2012 is getting closer, so you might as well prepare yourself for the worst. And since melee weapons are suggested by most experts, we recommend learning how to use a chainsaw or a baseball bat properly.
- If you end up being kicked out of your dorm, stake out Landis or campus’ lesser greens during the day. This provides a great opportunity to kick-start your student activism. Ocasionally shake your fist at buildings and passing faculty
and let your haggard appearance and body odor do the rest. Oh, they know what they did wrong. They know. - Temporarily join a fight club and never talk about it.
No matter what you do over the break, make sure you’ll have a funny story to tell later. Just don’t go to Daytona. That place was dead inside even before MTV got there.
