The film opens in medias res with the titular heroine (played by the often remarkable Mia Wasikowska) throwing herself into the cold, wet, wilderness of the English countryside and landing on the front door of St. John (played by Jamie Bell). After the delirious girl is taken in and cared for, we flashback to the beginning of Brontë’s novel, moving through Jane’s situation as the unwanted ward of her wealthy aunt, as well a brief sequence of her education at the Lowood School. These flashbacks pepper the present action of the film as Jane becomes acclimated into the small parish St. John (pronounced ‘Syn-Gyn’) runs as the minister.

We learn that Jane left Lowood for the gothic Thornfield to work as a governess to Adele, the illegitimate child of the byronically charming Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender). Intrigue and romance ensue.

As this is largely a love story, the chemistry of the two lead actors, Wasikowska and Fassbender, determines a great deal of the movie’s success. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much there. Both actors found their individual characters with enough confidence to exist on the screen, but the attraction between the two was understated at best. The film lacks the romantic magic of the novel, probably because Director Cary Fukunaga tries to give us the more realistic Jane Eyre.

Outdoor sequences are shot with hand cams that bounce behind Jane as she walks down garden paths and picks flowers with Rochester. The interior scenes look almost like a different movie as Fukunaga takes full advantage of what a film set offers. He lights and places his objects meticulously with a dense array of muted colors that make every frame look like a Vermeer painting.

The film is paced well, coming in at two-hour runtime (pretty standard for a Victorian adaption) but leaves a few some elements of the plot only half-explained so that anyone not familiar with the novel might have some questions at the end. All-in-all, what is supposed to work in this film works, but not too memorably or, for that matter, impressively. If you like Brontë or think it might help you chat up coeds at The Warehouse, you might want to see it; and if not, there’s still the new Pirates, and it’s still in 3D!

When the movie starts those familiar with the prior installment, the wildly popular The Hangover of 2009, may be experiencing a bit of déjà vu. A woman leaves a wedding party in-waiting with a cell phone to her ear. On the other end is Phil (played by Bradley Cooper), looking like a man who’s just gone through hell and back, explaining that the wedding won’t happen. “It happened again,” he says. And, indeed, it did happen again. After flying to Thailand for the wedding of Stu (Ed Helms), Phil and Alan (Zack Galifianakis) mean to give him one last night of fun. This night of fun, once again, completely passes the audience by for the sake of being pieced by together by the three after they wake up in a seedy hotel room in the middle of Bangkok.  Just like last time, they have no recollection of the night prior, and of course, just like last time, they all have killer hangovers. The rest of the film involves them wondering around the city trying to find another missing fourth member of their party, and running into another cast of outrageous characters they were supposed to have met the night before.

The jokes are primarily the same, in context if not content. That being said, if anyone appreciated the perverse, absurd, and unabashedly vulgar humor of the first Hangover movie, they can rest assured that the ride is different enough and hits hard enough that they’ll still find themselves nearly asphyxiating from laughter. If the old truism holds that nothing is as funny the second time around, The Hangover Part II may be the exception that proves the rule.

As a faithful reader of George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire, to which Game of Thrones is the first in the series, I had always wondered how the television adaptation would mesh with the narrative style of the books. Relentlessly paced and intricately detailed, I’m happy to say that the show is a worthy companion to the books.

Thus far, each episode has been packed with action and drama befitting of an HBO series and last week’s episode is no different. We are greeted in the first few minutes with the arrival of Tywin Lannister on screen for the first time, scolding his son Jaime for his reckless actions in the streets of King’s Landing (and for not making a proper pincushion out of Eddard Stark). Tywin is a large, lean man who looks around forty and has a stern face and short temper. As he fumbles in the presence of his father, we see for the first time a departure from Jaime’s self-assured demeanor as a young knight. Instead, his father coldly analyzes the mistakes stemming from his prideful manner. Jaime is exposed to an actual conflict for the first time in the series, and rather than from a foe on the battlefield, it comes from his own father. After this brief spat, Tywin tersely supplies Jaime with soldiers to retrieve the captured Tyrion, stating that not even his dwarf son is outside the protection of the Lannister House. In the final moment of this scene, the Lannister ambition is illustrated succinctly when Tywin states that the future of the house will be determined in the actions of the next few months.

We then meet Eddard and Cersei in the courtyard, in a brief reprieve from the intrigues of court. However, it is not a friendly discussion: Eddard knows the truth of Cersei’s relationship with her brother Jaime. Rather than denying it, she has no trouble she explains the extent of the affair with her brother: the only children the king has to his own blood are bastards; the heir to the throne is a product of Cersei’s affair.

Her character deepens as she declares the passion she once had for King Robert, and the debilitating heartbreak she endured when she realized that she was nothing but a poor substitute of his once lover, Lyanna Stark, Ned’s sister. It provides balance for her cold demeanor, and even Eddard is moved. However, another reference to the Lannister ambition is made as Cersei berates Eddard for not taking the throne when he had a chance, foreshadowing it as his doom. ‘When you play the game of thrones,’ she says, ‘you win or die.’

Further ambitions are framed in the next scene, when we see Lord Baelish, Catelyn Stark’s once lover, in a whorehouse, instructing two women on techniques to please the patrons. His longing for Catelyn, and his celibacy for her (juxtaposed against the whorehouses which he owns), has given way to his own ambitions for the throne. Megalomania is not exactly an inspired theme from someone with the nickname “Little finger”—Napoleon complex, anyone?—but Baelish plays it well.

One of my favorite aspects of the series has been the constant framing and foreshadowing of new plots, while the action moves forward. In only a few minutes, back at Winterfell, we see the bandit-turned-servant Osha explain why she was escaping south, alluding to the White Walkers. A lone horse without rider returns to the north side of the Wall, and Jon Snow looks in horror as he realizes it is his uncle Benjen’s horse.

Later, the new members of the Night’s Watch take their vows. Jon receives a position of a steward, rather than that of a ranger, but as he protests it is realized that the Lord Commander requested him by name, and that he might be grooming him to be the next Lord Commander.

Across the narrow sea, Danaerys goes to the market where Ser Jorah receives his pardon from an informant of Lord Varys, and realizes that this means the order to assassinate his charge has been issued. He saves her from a wine merchant who attempts to poison her. In the face of this new development, Khal Drogo concedes to lead an army across the sea to reclaim the throne for his unborn son.

Meanwhile, King Robert returns from his hunt gravely injured. Drunk from the wine of his Lannister squire, which is pointed out by Varys, he had been mauled by a boar. It is all Ned can do to take down his will, removing Joffrey and instead writing down “my rightful heir” to make ambiguous the line of succession. Over the course of the day, as King Robert lays dying, several members of the court approach him, urging him to use his power to their own ends. Resisting the King’s brother Renly’s suggestion of coup d’état, he compromises with Baelish to take control of the City Watch to help transition power.

However, Cersei moves too fast: Ned finds Joffrey already planning his coronation, then Cersei tears up Robert’s will before ordering Ned’s fealty. As he tries to move toward the crown, his own men are butchered by the City Watch, who Baelish had instead ordered to remain faithful to the heir apparent.

The episode marks some of the most important plot points of the series, and the further development of the characters—especially those of the Lannister house—make for some interesting new dynamics in the series. As Game of Thrones nears the end of its first season, I can’t help but wonder what other new dimensions to the book’s characters and plot it will contribute. The series is a faithful adaptation—one of the closest fitting I’ve seen—but still has its share of twists.

[Ed. Note--You all know our resident Glee recapper extraordinaire, Erika. Presented is her recap of last week's episode, "Bad Reputation". SPOILER ALERT, duh.]

Week before last: Rachel started dating Jesse from Vocal Adrenaline but now he sings for Glee and she hasn’t slept with him yet; Emma almost slept with Will but chickened out; Finn slept with Santana but said he didn’t; and Mercedes and Kurt joined the Cheerios.

Last week: Mercedes made it through some weight issues with help from Quinn; Kurt’s dad and Finn’s mom started dating; April came back and bought the auditorium for the Glee club; and Sue narrowly escaped getting exposed by an investigative reporter with help from Mercedes.

(Also I’m free from classes and finals now, which means I am all yours this summer.)

The show opens with Sue dancing to the classically awful Olivia Newton John horror from the 80s, “Let’s Get Physical”, on the computer courtesy of Kurt. Finn’s idea? Post it on YouTube. When he is met with objections, Jesse suggests that Glee should be more badass.

Sue, unsuspecting, is walking down the hallway. The typical fear of Sue Sylvester has been diffused into cheerful (or Gleeful?) informalities.

Sue is confused.

So, Sue does the only thing she can do: goes directly to Figgins’ office and rats out the Glee club. She has also updated her insults: Will’s chin, apparently, looks like a baby’s ass. When Will states, calmly, that Glee club had nothing to do with it, because Sue is generally disliked, Sue replies with the Glist.

A Glist, you ask? It is a “weekly” ranking of the Glee clubbers based on sexual promiscuity. Figgins is, of course, unhappy. He cites a recent incident in which an entire school was expelled because of a photo of the superintendent in lingerie and riding a pony surfaced. Figgins’ ultimatum? Find and suspend the student responsible or the entire Glee club will be held accountable.

At rehearsal, Will shows the club the Glist and begins his interrogations. Everyone accuses Puck, who is offended by their accusations. The club’s star troublemaker says, “Sure, I like setting stuff on fire and beating up people that I don’t know. I own that. But  I’m not a liar.” Will says that this reputation is damaging to the club, but Artie counters that maybe this more dangerous edge of the Glee club will stop people from flushing his glasses down the toilet. That sounds horribly expensive, Artie!

Will says that things are hard and starts handing out new music. Anything can be solved with music.

The club is a little apprehensive of their assignment to pick a song that’s a joke and get rid of its bad reputation, with like, magic or something? It’s not really clear. Will decides to provide an example, and goes into the first number, “Ice Ice Baby” from Vanilla Ice.

This song is paroled. Thank you, Glee. And poor Artie. (Wheelchair=No Dancing.)

Meanwhile, Sue walks into the faculty room to face the “cruel slow-motion laughter.” A new staff member, Brenda Castle (guest star Molly Shannon), approaches and calls Sue an embarrassment. Sue storms from the room, mortified.

Rachel and Artie are having a little chat in the hallway. Rachel was dead last on the Glist with a score of -5. (How does that even happen? What are the scoring rules of the Glist again?) She wants the AV club’s help with her new video project that she wants to use to boost her bad reputation. She does not want a good reputation, in fact she wants to be “ musically promiscuous.” Can anyone smell this backfiring?

Rachel isn’t the only Gleek concerned with her reputation, or lack thereof. Kurt, Mercedes, Artie, and Tina were not even featured on the list. So Kurt has summoned them to plan their descent into depravity. Brittany is there too, because…

“I’ve been here since first period. I have a cold. I took all my antibiotics and the same time, and now I can’t remember how to leave.”

We love you Brittany. [Ed. Note--So much.]

So they include Brittany in their plot, which is great since she’s the greatest. Kurt’s diabolical scheme? Be a disruption in the library. Not by trying to check out a reference book, no, but by causing full on chaos–SINGING IN THE LIBRARY. Seriously, what a bunch of nerds.

Sue is pouring out her heart to her sister with Down’s syndrome, Jean. Sue is in a state of shock at the way that people were treating her and apologizes for not protecting her sister more. It’s moments like these that remind us Sue Sylvester is human. Jean reminds her that they used to “give back” when they felt bad like this.

So Sue becomes Emma’s new therapist. Wait… what? Emma is rightly apprehensive, but it’s okay because Sue has her masters in… Counseling. Sure, television, whatever you say. Oh, and she had baby monitors planted in Will’s house (thanks, Patriot Act!), which caught his make out session with Shelby (Vocal Adrenaline coach/Rachel’s secret mom/Idina Menzel) and his sleepover with April. Sue spills the beans and tells Emma that she needs to stand up for herself and confront Will in a public setting.

Meanwhile, Puck is in Rachel’s room. Uh oh. What are you doing Rachel? Oh and Puck is moonlighting as the Phantom of the Opera.

Go Puck.

Rachel asks him to help with her Glee club project a video of “Run Joey Run” by David Geddes. Puck asks her if she thinks he made the Glist. And then they start talking about reputations, and…

Just say no, Rachel! [Ed. Note--DO IT, RACHEL!]

Well, Rachel doesn’t kiss him and when Puck realizes he won’t be getting any he tries to leave. Rachel gets him to stay to help with the project.

At school, Emma is being propelled along by Sue to the faculty room to confront Will. They are slightly detoured by Brenda and they exchange words. (Sue has met her match) Brenda leaves, and Sue pushes Emma into the teacher’s lounge.

Will is talking to another teacher, solemnly. Emma wants to talk, but Will asks her to give him a second. Emma looses it. She tells him that she can’t wait for the end of his heavy petting session with the teacher, which was actually a discussion about the aforementioned teacher’s recent widowing. (Nice going Emma.) Undeterred, she plows on, saying that no one is safe and tears him a new one.

And then she calls him a slut.

Wow Emma. [Ed. Note--When she's right she's right.]

Meanwhile, Kurt, Mercedes, Brittany, Tina, and Artie enter the library. They perform their rendition of “U Can’t Touch This” from MC Hammer.

Yikes.

The librarian tells them it was very cute. And asks them to perform for her church’s Sunday service.

Sorry guys, better luck next time.

Will is now interrogating the Glee club member by member. Finn, Mercedes, Artie, Tina, Puck, Brittany, and Quinn all deny and push the blame off to someone else. Frustrated, Will slams the desk and says that they aren’t leaving until he gets answers.

Kurt: May I be blunt?

Will: Shoot.

Kurt: Ever since you’ve separated from your wife, you’ve spent a lot of late nights watching reruns of Law and Order, haven’t you? (beat) Thought so.

Will dejected, stops the questioning. Meanwhile, Artie suggests that they confess to Sue that they posted the video.

Sue, meanwhile, is writing in her journal about the humiliations she has endured because of this video scandal. (Is this karmic retribution for the video she tried to hold against Figgins in Season 1?) She gets a phone call from Olivia Newton John. Sue, annoyed and thinking this is a hoax, calls her accent ridiculous and hangs up on her. Olivia calls back and this time Sue drops the phone. She wanted to know why Sue danced to the video and wants Sue’s help to save it.

In the hallway Will is facing Sue’s criticisms, Brenda’s come-ons and Figgins’ prayers because of his reputation. Ken makes a comeback, popping out of nowhere to chew on Will for breaking Emma’s heart. And Sue walks by again just to call him a slut.

Kurt is saying his farewells to Brittany, Tina, Mercedes, and Artie. He approaches Sue, confesses, and she thanks him.

Kurt is stunned.

Confused, they go and search for the video and find this amazing footage featuring Olivia Newton John and one Sue Sylvester in a new rendition of “Physical.”

Muscles, tans, and spandex. What more could we ask for? [Ed. Note--A better song?]

Go Sue and Olivia.

I agree, Mercedes.

At rehearsal, Will gives the club an ultimatum about the Glist. Rachel shows them her project.

Puck is singing. Jesse is confused. Finn is confused. Then Jesse is singing. Now Puck is confused and Finn is still confused. Then Finn is singing, and everyone is confused.

Now Finn, Jesse, and Puck are, on top of being confused, also pissed.

Bad Rachel. Very bad Rachel.

The boys break out in protest. Finn tears her a new one and they walk out on her. Will looks disappointed.

Jean and Sue are hanging out again. Sue is happy about her new attitude change, but she kind of skims over the part where she bragged about being a top 700 recording artist to the faculty lounge. But Sue is taking the money that she’s getting from the video and donating it to the home where Jean lives.

Bring on the warm fuzzies.

Speaking of warm fuzzies, Will has flowers for Emma. She takes them, uncertain, and Will apologizes for his actions. He wants to fix things with Emma, but Emma is somewhat unresponsive. She thanks him for the flowers and Will leaves, a little crushed. However, he realizes that Quinn made the list, because of some stupid and lazily written reason.

Quinn breaks down and says that “a bad reputation is better than no reputation at all.” Will gives her a few inspirational words and… Figgins walks in the door, seeking the culprit.

Will doesn’t rat out Quinn and gets Glee club off the hook. Oh, and Figgins is still praying for him.

In between classes, Jesse approaches Rachel. He confronts her about what she did. Rachel says, “I knew you’d break my heart.” To which Jesse responds, “You broke mine first.”

Wow, this makes me think that Jesse really cared about Rachel and isn’t a spy like I originally thought. [Ed. Note--"I became a spy before I really got to know you!" -Jesse, before the season's end, mark my words.]

Which brings us to our final song from Bonnie Taylor, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”, complete with Jesse and Rachel doing ballet for the number. Finn and Jesse seem to be her focus, but she’s definitely spending more time looking at Jesse.

As the song ends, Finn, the entire club, and Jesse walk out on Rachel. Good going Rachel.

Next week: Rachel becomes mute; Puck goes after Mercedes; and Brittany and Kurt elope.

OH WOW GLEE IS BACK! Are you guys psyched or what?

Rachel, Mercedes, and Kurt still haven’t come off of the high from winning sectionals: everyone’s looking at them differently, they’re Glitterati, and Kurt feels like Lady Gaga.

Rawr.

But, according to the slushie-wielding masses, Glee still makes up the population of Loosertown. Sorry Rachel.

Meanwhile, Figgins is telling Will that Glee needs to place at Regionals because the Cheerios need the auditorium for practice space in the cold weather. Hold on—Will got rid of Sue after sectionals, right?

… Sorry Will. Sue’s back with a vengeance and much better blackmail on Figgins. Can’t you see the way he cringed when she mentioned whip cream? How could you, Figgins? Will is righteously pissed.

And it’s now Basketball season! As you can see, Finn is a bit distracted. It might be Puck, who is also on the team, or how he isn’t really over Quinn, but it’s most likely Rachel in the bright blue t-shirt that proudly proclaims “TEAM FINN” with gold stars. Glad to see that Glee is staying out of the Twilight debate.

Oh, and Rachel is finally revealed as the crazy girlfriend that we all expected her to be: chatty, controlling, and complete with His & Her date calendars. (Dear Gleeks, tell me, are those the heads of Rachel and Finn photo-shopped onto the bodies of fluffy kittens?) Finn is also aspiring to be Ken because of his amazing way of dealing with the loss of his fiancé: gaining forty pounds and completely losing whatever microscopic sense of personal hygiene he had in the first place. But still, this is accepted as normal–which is what Finn wants, right?

Poor Finn.

As a precursor to Sue’s tale of blackmail, she is no longer confused by another student’s “she-male looks” and will, out of the goodness of her heart, donate his ponytail to the victims of Hurricane Katrina that need to patch up their trailers. Bless you, Sue, bless you.

Oh wait, you date-raped the Principal. Never mind.

Sue refuses to bury the hatchet, promising pain and unemployment for the humiliation that Will caused.

At rehearsal, Will is practicing his artistic talent and giving our favorite starlets a history lesson about telephone greetings, which leads to a casual reminder that Kurt’s mom is dead.

Poor Kurt. We love you! Anyway, Will says that New Directions needs, well, new new directions. So the assignment of the week is to come up with a song that has “hello” in the title. Sounds easy, right? We’ll see.

Alright, so the most I could do at this next part was hyperventilate and try to not let out a rush of fangirly joy.

Will: I mean, here we are, we’ve been in the exact situation a hundred times… Only this time, I can just lean over and kiss you if I want to. (pause, get nasty) And I want to.

Man, Will, you are one sly dog. Of course, Emma freaks out a little, because she’s OCD and all. Apparently, the only reason that she kissed him last time was because he caught her by “surprise sneak attack.” Will, however, agrees (dammit Will!) and suggests they go on a date. At his place. He’s cooking.

…Hawt.

Yeah, Emma, I know how you feel.

Meanwhile, Sue is still in control of Brittany and Santana. Right now she wants them to commit seppuku with a letter opener for helping Glee win Sectionals. So, to make up for their error, Sue’s new diabolical scheme is to have them seduce Finn to piss off Rachel so she’ll leave the club in shame. Sue, I don’t know if you understand that, while Santana is definitely conniving, Brittany has trouble remembering her middle name and Finn is as sharp as a basketball when it comes to women, or anything for that matter. Can’t you see this backfiring?

Will and Finn are having quality time. Will is giving Finn a pep-talk, trying to introduce him to his inner rock star and the new person he has become since he left Quinn. Cue first song of the second season: “Hello, I Love You” by the Doors. And, since music solves everything, Finn’s confidence is super-charged. So much so, that he’s got his groove back and gained a cheerleader entourage.

Witness the power of music.

Oh, and note the laser beams that shoot out of Kurt’s eyes when Finn was performing for the club and kinda sorta singing the song in his general direction. Now that the song is over, the cheerleaders are on the move. Quinn knows exactly what’s going on but doesn’t say anything. Best not to get involved, girl. Santana and Brittany suggest a date… with both of them.

Can you see him doing the math in his head? Bad Finn.

So Santana and Brittany give him a time, place, and table count (since we all understand Finn’s trouble with numbers). Rachel is a little suspicious when she sees them walking away and asks Finn what they wanted. Finn, showing some primordial glimmer of intelligence, says nothing. Rachel drags him to one side and tells him what we all know: she’s “not popular” and her “personality, though exciting, isn’t exactly low-maintenance,” but she’ll always be honest with him. And she also says that she wants him to be honest with her. To which Finn, the genius, responds, “I don’t think I want to be your boyfriend.” This wouldn’t be as bad except Finn adds that he needs to “connect with [his] inner rock star before [he] can fully commit to one woman.”

To which Rachel responds: “I’ll tell you who you are. You’re a scared little boy. You’re afraid of dating me because you think it might hurt your reputation which, though you would never admit it, is very important to you. You hate what Quinn did to you, not just because it hurt but because it was so humiliating.”

ZING! You tell him, girl.

At rehearsal Rachel has a song. Which is, of course, “Gives You Hell” by All American Rejects. See Finn? That was a bad move back there. Everyone, save for Finn and Will, gets into it. Rachel does a little dance with the Other Asian (who’s name, I have just found out, is Mike Chang. Who knew?).

His name is MIKE!

Anyway, Will is pissed. He’s nervous about Vocal Adrenaline.

Moved by Will’s anger, Rachel goes looking for music at a… library… place? Here, she gets approached by a devilishly handsome, confident, soft spoken young man by the name of Jessie St. James, also known as the male lead of Vocal Adrenaline. He is blatantly coming on to our starlet before, during, and after they sing a duet of Lionel Ritchie’s “Hello.”

There is some definite chemistry. Or trickery. And a random band? (Wait, what?) Basically, they rock the song, and Jessie suggests that they do this more often, like, on Friday night. Say no Rachel! Just say no!

Speaking of dates, Brittany and Santana are on one. Gossiping. About hot guys and how Finn should be dating someone like them instead of someone like Rachel. Finn, of course, is right across from them, a little confused. He leaves without finishing his meal, because aside from them gossiping like he’s not there, they’re also bitchy. But lo, all is not a complete loss. Brittany shares with us yet another piece of her never-ending wisdom: “Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?”

We love you Brittany, even if you work for the enemy.

And holy crap, look! Another date. This one, starring Will and Emma, is going swimmingly. They’re slow dancing to “Hello Again” by Neil Diamond and Will is singing to her.

And we all fall into a respectful, yet giddy silence for a Will/Emma make-out session, which we’ve been waiting for since forever. Emma stops him though, not because she’s being OCD, but because she’s not only mentally ill, she’s also a virgin. Emma freaks out a bit, but Will lies and says he understands and they sit down to watch one of the only movies that Terri left behind: Jerry Bruckheimer masterpiece Armageddon.

Next day, Finn approaches Rachel about dating, because he wants her now. Rachel, however, has Jessie. (Bad Rachel!) Rachel is convinced that this “Romeo and Juliet romance” won’t be a problem. Finn is righteously suspicious. So he rats her out to Will.

Will arrives at the Vocal Adrenaline practice, where he catches their rendition of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell.” Shelby, the director (played by the amazing Indina Menzel), brings one image to mind: a Sue Sylvester of Glee directing, except not a sharp and hell-bent on Will’s destruction. [Ed. Note: Also she looks like Rachel's MILF mom.]

Or is she? Anyway, Will confronts her about Rachel and Jessie. She takes it fine, and suddenly…

BAD WILL. VERY BAD WILL.

Will stops Shelby as she’s trying to strip off his shirt. He makes her coffee and they sit down for a nice chat. Shelby is somewhat confused when she hears that Will isn’t exactly divorced and somewhat dating Emma. Will aptly puts it as, “I’m kind of a mess.” Here I had a déjà vu moment, because Shelby gives him the same advice that Will gave Finn, which makes me wonder if Schue is stupid. Anyway, Shelby gives him her number for when he gets things sorted out.

Still. Bad Will.

Rachel is confronted by Mercedes, Kurt, Tina, and Artie about Jessie. Rachel attempts to smooth things over, but fails. Mercedes, who is the queen of telling people what needs to be said [Ed. Note: Mercedes is the show's token Sassy Black Girl Who Tells It Like It Is.], tells Rachel, “We’re a team. And all you’ve ever wanted if for us to be great and be apart of something special. Now is that still true, or not?”

Go Mercedes.

Meanwhile, Sue tries to brainwash Rachel with the classic “Old Maid’s Club” tick. This is a club she invented just now for lonely, unlovable girls who can’t find a man. Don’t listen to her Rachel!

Oh, and Emma is setting up a suprise for Will when HOLY CRAP Terry walks in. They get into a little verbal catfight and Terry tells Emma that the song Will chose was their prom song.

…hate you Terry.

Rachel goes to visit Jessie at the Vocal Adrenaline stage to confront him about the truth of his intentions. Sly snake that he is, Jessie reintroduces himself as “Jessie, the guy who’s nuts about you; the guy who would never hurt you.” Rachel tells him that no one can know.

Don’t listen to him Rachel!

See that? That there. He’s looking at his coach. Who set this up. See? Bad Rachel.

Will is in Emma’s office, to talk about the perfect dinner table that she had set up. Emma tells him that Terry came by. That girl is way too smart for her own good. She tells Will the same thing that Shelby told him, which was the same thing that Will told Finn way back at the beginning of the episode. Am I detecting a pattern here?

Will and Emma break it off, but they do leave the door open. Emma sits down and cries.

Rachel tells Finn that she ended it with Jessie. But what’s this? Finn wants to be with Rachel! Rachel is speechless and then says she can’t. Finn says, “Woah, I’m not just some guy that you met at a music store that you can just blow off. I don’t give up that easy.” My, how the tables have turned.

As the ending song, New Directions present “Hello, Goodbye” from the Beatles while Emma watches will from the balcony of the auditorium. The Rachel and Finn chemistry has turned emotionally fraught.

See? Clearly a face tormented by emotional conflict. The song ends, and Rachel runs off stage.

Next Week: Glee travels back in time when Sue understudied for Madonna. Speaking of which, after the show they aired this piece of genius:

Andy: We’re about to start @theyetiblog‘s livetweeting of the Oscars! @FSUYeti will be joining in the tweeting in about a half hour.   7:51 PM Mar 7th

Andy: As for your friendly neighborhood Yetiblogger, we will brb after we RUUUUUUUUNNNN to get a bunch of alcohol, because seriously, necessary.   7:52 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: Always drink responsibly.]

Andy: Taylor Lautner is there, wearing a shirt! #weird   8:27 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Here go the Oscars…   8:30 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Is it starting? OK it’s starting. Livetweets, AWAAAYYY!!!   8:31 PM Mar 7th

Ian: NPH’s jacket is going to give me a stroke   8:32 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Is Neil Patrick Harris the only person in Hollywood who’s allowed to sing at awards shows?   8:33 PM Mar 7th

Ian: haha Meryl Streep holds the record for most losses   8:36 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: Co-host Steve Martin made a joke about thinking of having the most Oscar nominations as having the most Oscar losses.]

Andy: Is it weird that the title “Dame” always makes me think of Lady Pimps?   8:38 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy no… no it is not   8:39 PM Mar 7th

Ian: George Clooney didn’t want to be mentioned… I can tell   8:41 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Penelope Cruz doesn’t believe in milking humanity’s innate sadism for the sake of comedy. BOO!!!   8:45 PM Mar 7th

Ian: These montages for the nominees seem a bit excessive.   8:45 PM Mar 7th

[Christoph Waltz of the Quentin Tarantino film Inglorious Basterds wins Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.]

Ian: Shocker… Waltz was awesome in “IB”8:48 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Duh times duh divided by duh to the duh power.   8:49 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Christoph Waltz should get another Oscar for fitting an entire Victorian novel into a thirty-second award acceptance speech.   8:50 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Ryan Reynolds at the oscars? Who let him in?   8:50 PM Mar 7th

Andy: No one should ever let Ryan Reynolds speak seriously about anything.   8:51 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Was that [montage] for the blind side or sandra bullock?   8:52 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Hey! It’s Michael Scott!   8:55 PM Mar 7th

[The nominees for Best Animated Feature are announced.]

Ian: WOOOO MR FOX   8:56 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Shocker. Well, George Clooney, you had the most sultry voiceover, if that helps8:59 PM Mar 7th

Andy: (Duh + Durr)/Doi^Nodoi   9:01 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: The Yeti believes in recycling, for the environment. Jokes count! (No they don't.)]

[Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried present the nominees for Best Song.]

Andy: Miley Cyrus is TALL!   9:01 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Doesn’t Randy Newman have like, 12 oscars from the Toy Story songs already?   9:02 PM Mar 7th

[T-Bone Burnett wins for "The Weary Kind" from the film Crazy Heart.]

Andy: Does T-Bone Burnett even have eyes behind those sunglasses?   9:04 PM Mar 7th

Ian: These original screenplay clips are awesome   9:14 PM Mar 7th

[Now there's big John Hughes tribute. RIP John Hughes.]

Andy: Did John Hughes ever win any Oscars?   9:18 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Macaulay (sp?) Culkin? Where’s the scream that made you famous!?!?   9:22 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Kristen Stewart was REALLY moved by that John Hughes tribute. Or maybe that’s just her face.   9:24 PM Mar 7th

Andy: I can understand why Zoe Saldana would want to show off her incredible legs, but that dress is DISGUSTING. #didntwatchtheredcarpet   9:29 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Who’s the lady who pulled a Kanye on this guy’s speech?   9:35 PM Mar 7th [This was Elinor Burkett, producer of the Oscar-winning Documentary Short "Music By Prudence". You can read about the incident here.]

[Ben Stiller comes out to present the award for Best Makeup dressed as a Na'vi, from Avatar.]

Ian: hahahahahahaha ben stiller is awesome   9:38 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Blue Steel!   9:38 PM Mar 7th

Andy: I like that Jeff Bridges introduced the Coen Bros movie montage. The Dude abides, after all.   9:44 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy Well they probably paid him with a new rug   9:47 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Are any moviemakers insulted by the commercial about tobacco product placement in movies?   9:47 PM Mar 7th

[Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire wins Best Adapted Screenplay.]

Andy: So Precious gets this one and Mo’Nique’s Best Supporting Actress. That’s ok. Maybe I should see Precious after all.   9:53 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy I didn’t see In the Loop, but I feel like any movie that makes a story based on a person, instead of another story, should win   9:56 PM Mar 7th

[Mo'Nique wins Best Supporting Actress for her role in Precious.]

Ian: Based on that clip alone, yeah, she deserved it   9:59 PM Mar 7th

Andy: What exactly are the politics of the Best Supporting Actress Oscars? It’s not like they nominated Sigourney Weaver.   10:03 PM Mar 7th [Seriously, what decade is it, Mo'Nique?]

[Avatar wins an Oscar, for some technical category or something.]

Andy: And so begins Avatar’s steamrolling of all of the rest of the Oscars. Prepare yourself.   10:07 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Why is Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress trying to strangle her! Someone help Sarah Jessica Parker! #didntwatchtheredcarpet   10:10 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Time for 4 or 5 awards no one cares about…   10:11 PM Mar 7th

[Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart introduce a montage tribute to horror movies.]

Andy: Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart: THE FACES OF FEAR   10:19 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Haha Dusk til Dawn clip in horror movie montage… I’m still angry that they became vampires in what was becoming an awesome movie   10:22 PM Mar 7th

[The awards for Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing are presented.]

Ian: Hurt Locker has to win this… BOOOOOOM!   10:25 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Called it!   10:25 PM Mar 7th

Andy: @Ian Please God let this be foreshadowing of the Best Picture award.   10:26 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Hurt Locker again….   10:26 PM Mar 7th

Ian: WOO! 2 for 2   10:27 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy I’m rooting for Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, or for the first time, a movie wins sans-nomination: Fantastic Mr. Fox   10:29 PM Mar 7th

[Avatar wins for Best Cinematography, which was ridiculous considering it was pretty much 100% green screen CGI bells & whistles.]

Andy: Thanking a visionary for his amazing vision, like an asshole. Sorry Mauro Fiore, it’s not really you I’m angry at.   10:37 PM Mar 7th

Andy: James Taylor is not Paul McCartney. #sad   10:39 PM Mar 7th

Ian: James Taylor is still alive? I figured he died of OD back in the day   10:39 PM Mar 7th

Andy: RT @dumase I hate memorial montages, how the applause varies. Yeah some of them were more famous but they’re all DEAD so be respectful.   10:40 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Michael Jackson was in like, 1 1/2 movie, dammit!   10:41 PM Mar 7th

Ian: No disrespect to MJ, but give him his dues at the Grammies. That spot could have gone to someone who was primarily in movies   10:42 PM Mar 7th

Andy: @Ian The video for Thriller is better than 75% of all movies.   10:44 PM Mar 7th

[An interpretive dance troupe interpretively dances to the music from the nominees for Best Score.]

Andy: No, Academy Awards. No.   10:46 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Breakdancing at the oscars? I guess I HAVE seen everything… Except a man eat his own head   10:48 PM Mar 7th

Andy: That’s not how you dance to the Fantastic Mr. Fox music. #urdoinitwrong   10:49 PM Mar 7th

Ian: HAHAHA this guy is awesome at the robot   10:49 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy Know why avatar is going to win this category? Because the song even SOUNDS like victory   10:51 PM Mar 7th

Andy: I AM GLAD AVATAR LOST! #schadenfreude   10:53 PM Mar 7th

[Best Visual Effects Oscar nominees are introduced.]

Ian: I guess whoever was best at making aliens will win this one   10:54 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Avatar wins the one award it actually deserved! Yay Avatar, way to go!   10:56 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Could we talk for a minute about how the premise of Up In the Air is patently ridiculous?   10:57 PM Mar 7th

Ian: While Hurt Locker does deserve every nomination and win, maybe it’s dumb producers shouldn’t have been banned from the show   10:59 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Screenwriter ZING! Courtesy of your host, Alec Baldwin.   11:01 PM Mar 7th

Ian: I heard a lot of good things about the cove. Rootin’ for it11:02 PM Mar 7th

Andy: @Ian It was only the one [producer of The Hurt Locker] that got banned, he talked shit about Avatar in an email to Academy members or something.11:02 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Tonight is a triumph for dolphin murder. #what?#sorryeveryone   11:05 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Booooo Tyler Perryyyyyy.   11:06 PM Mar 7th

Andy: “TEXT DOLPHIN TO 44144 FOR FREE DOLPHIN WALLPAPERS AND RINGTONES” -Bryan, friend of The Yeti   11:07 PM Mar 7th

Ian: When is Inglorious Basterds going to get its recognition?!? It has to win SOMEthing   11:08 PM Mar 7th

Andy: @Ian Best Supporting Actor. That’s all you can expect for a Tarantino film.   11:09 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy Well I’m still angry Brad Pitt didn’t get nominated   11:11 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Finally, it’s time for all the really good awards   11:18 PM Mar 7th

Ian: “Will it be Avatar, Hurt Locker, Blind Side, or is a surprise in store?” I’m not too happy that they made 10 noms and only give 3 credit   11:21 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Let’s go, Jeremy Renner   11:24 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Whenever anyone talks about a guy’s “massive talent” I always and invariably assume they’re talking about his dick. #trufax   11:29 PM Mar 7th

Andy: This is payback for snubbing The Big Lebowski. #thedudeabides   11:33 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Ya know what, I’m okay with this. Jeff Bridges is the coolest (and only) “dude” in the room   11:33 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Sandra Bullock, let’s do this.   11:41 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Would Helen Mirren be the first actor to win twice in a row?   11:43 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Helen Mirren: still a total fox at 64.   11:43 PM Mar 7th

Ian: @Andy Agreed.   11:44 PM Mar 7th

Andy: If Oprah EVER said ANYTHING about me, I would burst into tears. If it was something nice, I’d pee my pants.   11:46 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Seriously Oscars, are there to be ZERO upsets? I mean REALLY! #finallydrunk   11:49 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Anyone else see Meryl Streep like “Go on, git it!” to Sandra Bullock?   11:49 PM Mar 7th

Andy: George Clooney threw Sandra Bullock into a pool? Wish I’d been at that party.   11:51 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Sandra Bullock – will you marry me? Sincerely, IPT   11:51 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Best Actor and Actress winners get too much time to talk. #populism?   11:53 PM Mar 7th

Andy: There’s never been a black Best Director winner? Really? 2010? FAIL.   11:54 PM Mar 7th

Andy: BOOSH! HURT LOCKER FOR THE WIN!!!   11:55 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Katheryn Bigelow, congrats. That movie was the best I’ve seen in ages.   11:55 PM Mar 7th

Andy: James Cameron looks pissed. FUCK YOU, JAMES CAMERON!!!   11:58 PM Mar 7th

Ian: What kind of a title is “Academy Governor?”   11:58 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Woah – Tom Hanks, you came outta nowhere with that!   11:59 PM Mar 7th

Ian: See 3 tweets previous.   12:00 AM Mar 8th

Andy: Hurt Locker won Best Picture YAAAAAYYY! Cheer up James Cameron, you are a multi-millionaire.   12:00 AM Mar 8th

Andy: “THIS WIN MAKES UP FOR THE INTERPRETIVE DANCING (No it doesnt)” -Camille, friend of The Yeti   12:01 AM Mar 8th

Andy: Well that ended extremely abruptly–just the way we like it! If only the rest of the presentations could have followed Tom Hanks’ example.   12:04 AM Mar 8th

Andy: Thank you and good night everyone! The Yeti loves you!   12:04 AM Mar 8th

Ian: Well all, it’s been fun, but here ends my Oscar livetweet coverage. Thanks to Andy for backing me up, and follow me @IanPT89. & thanks to…   12:07 AM Mar 8th

Well that was The Yeti’s coverage of the Oscars! The Hurt Locker beat out Avatar in every category they competed for, I think, which means sexism is over, hooray! nothing, really. Oh well. See you next year, Oscars!

A lot of people raised objections to a new Dodge Charger commercial when it premiered during the Superbowl, mostly along the lines of “it’s tacky, misogynistic, and lame.” So, inevitably, someone made a spoof of it to post on the internet. Here is that spoof, a “rebuttal” from the female perspective. And it’s, um, PERFECT. Seriously, if it was a real ad, I would buy whatever it was selling for my mom (she’s a third-wave feminist).

(via Alex Blaggazine)

[Ed. Note--Our managing editor Felicite Fallon will also be doing The Yeti's recaps of the final season of that show we're all obsessed with, LOST. This is last week's episode, published as a refresher for tonight's shiny new mind explosion extravaganza. Spoiler Alert! (Duh)]

Firstly, a big thank-you to the writers for letting me know up front what I’m in for–right from the outset, I know that any episode titled “What Kate Does” means that my give-a-shit meter is going to be at about 50 percent for the next hour and I can adjust my recapping accordingly. Kate-centric episodes are usually a good timeslot for me to file paystubs or reorganize my spice cabinet, but I will say that this one is pretty solid on the whole.

I have this theory that Jack and Kate are annoying proportional to one another. Like, when Jack is being caring, resourceful and brave as opposed to braindead, that means Kate is going to make me yell at my TV, raise my blood pressure to dangerously high levels, and just be a waste of fictional human life in general. And vice versa—when Kate is up, Jack is down. Sometimes, when they’ve teamed up to be Saints Jack and Kate, handing down orders for the commoners from on high, their insufferability is exactly matched and you can hear birds harmonizing in a perfect fifth.

Well, tonight was not Kate’s moment to shine, but Jack sure came out of this looking squeaky clean for someone who was ready to stand by and let a 12 year old bleed to death.

In the “flash sideways” scenes, Kate abducts Claire’s taxi and forces the cab driver to run over Arzt’s luggage, which is strewn all over the road out in front of the airport. This is why you pack lightly, people—not only will it save you excess baggage fees, but you also won’t have the problem of armed convicts running over your electric toothbrush and palm pilot and whatever other junk Arzt was dragging around. Everyone had palm pilots in 2004, right?

At a red light, the taxi driver hightails it and Claire repeatedly begs for Kate to let her go, which Kate reluctantly does after first demanding Claire hand over her purse. This had better not lead to any tiresome shenanigans where Kate poses as Claire to cover her tracks, because the less said about the last time I had to see Kate in a blonde wig, the better.  I understand this show probably goes absurdly over budget every week, but they couldn’t have allocated more than a fourth grader’s allowance to buy a wig from Sally’s for that episode? But, OK, I understand, it was a long time ago and it’s time for me to let go.

Claire begs for her suitcase, but cold hard Kate sends her on her way empty handed, leaving Claire sobbing by the side of the road. Making Claire cry should be illegal. But well, I guess that still wouldn’t be much of a deterrent for Kate.

Next stop is the greasy auto shop, where Kate gets a mechanic to remove her handcuffs and asks for a place to change but curiously does not ask him to change her plates, which would seem to be a priority. Maybe she doesn’t think she’ll attract any attention driving a stolen taxi. After all, I’ve met ever so many gorgeous, young, female taxi drivers in my day. Perfect disguise.

Kate opens up Claire’s duffel bag and finds an impossibly cute “Myspace ho” style Polaroid of Claire pointing excitedly to her pregnant belly and a big cuddly-looking orca stuffed animal. Kate’s “well, shit” expression here is pretty classic, one of my favorite parts of this episode.

So she drives her Big Yellow Taxi back to where she dropped Claire off and Claire is kind of just sheepishly standing there. Kate gives her back her purse and offers her a ride to her next destination, which seems a little outlandish. This woman is an escaped convict who was pointing a gun at your head just minutes ago. MINUTES! But it seems that no one watches Law and Order: SVU in Australia, because she accepts Kate’s offer and they drive to the home of the couple who is supposed to be taking Claire’s baby.

But oh no! The woman’s husband just left her and she can’t take the baby anymore. I would think that would at least merit a quick phone call or a page or however people communicated in those dark pre-iPhone days, and Kate says basically the same thing, but then Claire interrupts Kate’s moral superiority party with her stupid contractions and it’s off to the hospital! Away!

At the hospital, Claire is wigging, and Kate yanks good Dr. Ethan away from whatever he was doing to see her. [Ed. Note: Ethan whose name is somehow GOODSPEED now??? WHAT??? That’s Horace’s name, not Ethan’s! WE HAVE TO MOVE THE SURNAMES!!!] Now, I’m not sure how hospital protocol works exactly, but I thought Ethan was a surgeon—so what was he doing in the maternity ward anyway? And why would he be taking care of Claire? But maybe this is more alternate timeline weirdness. For now I think we should go with “alternate timeline weirdness” rather than “plot contrivance,” because we’ve already had a few too many of those this episode and this would be a big one if it is. [Ed. Note—Probably is, though.]

Ethan tells her she can have her baby now or in two weeks, when the baby is supposed to be due, and Claire opts to wait. After Ethan leaves, two detectives pop in seeking information about Kate’s whereabouts, and Claire covers while Kate hides. Ugh. I am really not looking forward to following this wearisome albatross of a storyline again for the next couple weeks. I was absolutely ecstatic when the case was finally brought to trial and settled so I wouldn’t have to fidget through any more unengaging, emotionally uninvolving and unconvincing episodes of Kate as a fugitive, [Ed. Note—We only suspend so much disbelief.] and now here it is, back again. It’s like flunking organic chemistry and having to retake it with an even worse teacher.

When the detectives leave, Claire asks Kate what she did, and Kate asks if Claire would believe her if she said she was innocent. Sounds like that might be one of the things that changed in this reality, which actually might make the Kate on the run storyline even less gripping if she’s just doing this for completely noble reasons like covering for someone else or something. [Ed. Note—It’s especially funny because whatever Kate is or isn’t innocent of originally, she is definitely guilty of hijacking a taxi cab at gunpoint.] Claire, continuing her Virgin Mary-esque (yeah, duh) generosity streak, gives Kate her credit card to help her along, and Kate advises her to keep the baby, whom Claire named Aaron spontaneously in a moment of panic for his safety.

Island reality: Sayid is alive, and the reaction is mixed. Jack is overjoyed, Dogen (bearded Asian guy) is suspicious and Sawyer’s give-a-shit meter is rattling around zero—he fires a gun at the group and makes a typical Sawyer exit full of cowboy loner bravado, telling Kate directly not to come after him. He should know by now that this is like inviting her to follow a trail of breadcrumbs to a tasty gingerbread cottage.

"Don't come after me."

(I am so totally coming after you.)

So naturally, as soon as he’s gone, Kate volunteers to retrieve Sawyer, saying she can get him to come back. [Ed. Note—“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”] Aldo (Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) is skeptical, and demands to accompany her, as do Jin and some other Other.

Jack and Kate share a “nice” goodbye moment, and then against Jack’s better judgment, Sayid is led off to be tortured by Dogen for reasons as yet obscure to us, but the Others’ judgment is backed up by guns so they win. Then, Sayid is tortured. Sigh. I must say I am getting mighty tired of seeing characters on this show writhe around in untold pain. There must be other ways to ratchet up the dramatic tension and I urge you to explore them, writers. Also I am squeamish and please stop what are you doing with the poker oh god stop I’ll tell you everything! [Ed. Note—Also, the irony of the torturer being tortured has already been done, and that episode was great, so please stop peeing on it, Lost writers.]

Their tactics are less effective on Sayid, however, especially since they don’t ask him any questions. Lennon (the guy from Me, You and Everyone We Know with the round glasses) tells him it was a test, and he passed, but after Sayid is gone, he asks Dogen if he lied to him, and Dogen is like, “Yup.”

Jack goes in to have a chat with Dogen about this whole torture business, and let me stop here for a second because my heart is just bursting with pride. He doesn’t throw any punches, he doesn’t shout or breathe heavily through his nostrils, and he takes time to actually hear what other people are saying. Jack is now almost as mature as most five year olds! You are getting a gold star on this week’s progress report for sure, mister!

Dogen tells Jack that Sayid is “infected,” and wants Jack to give Sayid some echinacea to cure him, which will only be effective if Sayid takes it willingly.

Seriously, if that is not echinacea, then I don't even know what's real anymore

Jack: “I’m not going to give anything to Sayid unless I know what’s in it.”

Dogen: “This is your chance to redeem yourself.”

Jack: “OK, I will give this to Sayid without knowing what’s in it.”

Jack goes back to Sayid but is conflicted, especially when Sayid expresses complete trust in whatever decision Jack comes to. Jack has had quite enough of taking things on faith Season One Locke style, so he goes back to Dogen and demands to know what’s in the pill, and when Dogen refuses to tell him, he swallows it. Dogen forces him to spit it back up and admits that it’s poison. Whoops! Well, better Jack than Sayid. Not even—no, especially if it’s really Zombie Sayid, which some fans have been speculating. Sayid is already a badass, so just imagine the badass potential of a Zombie Sayid. The whole eating brains thing might get in the way of Sayid’s trademark eloquence and winningly genteel personality, but I think we could all use of break from watching everyone wave guns around, so I’m for it.

Dogen makes tea for Jack, tells him he’s afraid that Sayid has been “claimed,” and that everything that was Sayid will soon be gone. This calls to mind the “sickness” that befell Rousseau’s other scientist friends. Hmm.

[Ed. Note—He also says it’s what happened to Jack’s “sister,” who we know is Claire from way back, (guessed it way back in Season Two, boo yah) which isn’t convincingly ominous for me because all Claire did was hang out in a cabin with her dad’s ghost. Not really that terrible a deal if you ask me. Can I get “claimed,” please?]

Meanwhile, in the woods, Aldo/Mac is still skeptical of Kate’s tracking abilities, for no real reason. The more Kate asserts her authority, the more aggressive he gets, like the aggro bro he is, until finally she springs one of Rousseau’s old traps and knocks both of the others out. I guess that’s why he was suspicious. Am I expecting sweet relief from annoying characters I don’t really care about? Nope, Kate’s still here. She’s a huge bitch to Jin, who wants to go find Sun, for no reason, and then she takes off to go find Sawyer.

When she does find him, it’s naturally at the worst possible moment. Sawyer is sharing a private moment in the bedroom of the house he shared with Juliet with a shoebox he buried underneath the floorboards, because of course he is. Kate tries to slink away unseen but Sawyer catches her. She follows him out to the dock, where he contemplates the engagement ring he was going to give Juliet. He blames himself for her death because he convinced her to stay on the island, which I think is a bit of a stretch even for the perpetually guilt-ridden characters on this show, [Ed. Note—Seriously, it’s like it’s always someone else’s fault and no one ever makes their own decisions or is responsible for their own desti-MIND EXPLOSION] but this is a lovely scene so I’ll let it slide. After Sawyer leaves, Kate begins to weep, and the icicles around my cold metal heart melt a little for her.

While Jin is drinking some water from a stream, Aldo/Mac and the other Other stop by for a cordial revenge beating. Just as Aldo/Mac is really getting warmed up, however, they are both shot. My favorite thing about this show is that you know any and all deeply annoying minor characters will be swiftly and satisfyingly dispatched. Farewell, Aldo/Mac! And OMGCLIFFHANGERENDING!!! The shooter is Claire, who emerges from the bushes in desperate need of deep hair conditioning.

All images © NBC

[Ed. Note--Xavier, one of our awesome interns, will be writing recaps of Chuck for The Yeti. SPOILER ALERT, duh.]

The episode begins with someone breaking into a vault, to steal something.

It’s a mask.

But before the thief steals the mask, the support beam holding the thief’s harness begins to come loose and one of the screws falls out

The thief tries to grab the screw before it drops to the ground but barely misses it.

The screw falls to the floor and sets off the security system. The thief tries to escape through the hole in the ceiling, but the doors close and the thief is stuck.

The thief takes off his mask and reveals himself to be CIA agent Daniel Shaw. He calls Casey and the others to get him out of the vault.

Back in the Buy More, Hannah wants Chuck to be her mentor. They banter back and forth and Chuck finally agrees to let Hannah ride shotgun on the next install he has to do. In the distance, Sarah walks into the store and Chuck tells Hannah he will be right back. Sarah informs Chuck about Shaw’s predicament while Hannah watches from the background. Morgan appears behind Hannah and she asks him who Chuck is talking to.

Morgan says that is Chuck’s ex, Sarah. Chuck returns to the Nerd Herd booth to grab his bag and runs out saying, “Gotta run, Nerd Herd emergency!”

A baffled Morgan replies, “What the, I didn’t get the call… I would know… I’m the boss…”

Hannah follows Chuck out of the Buy More too, unbeknownst to Chuck.

Chuck arrives at an art museum (which looks alarmingly like the Command Center from Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. Turns out both shows used the House of the Book as an exterior shot. The more you know!)

From Chuck:

From MMPR

When Chuck goes inside, Casey informs him about his mission- to restart the museum’s computer server before the room where Shaw is trapped runs out of oxygen. Chuck is hesitant, saying the museum isn’t just going to let him waltz onto their server when Casey reveals to Chuck he crashed it.

Chuck reaches the computer room and is greeted by the curator.

The curator is freaking out about the computer’s lockdown, because the computers control everything in the museum. If they stop working the art could be damaged due to the temperature changes normally controlled by the computer.

Meanwhile, Sarah and Casey go above the room Shaw is in to try and open it manually from above.

Casey wants to blow the door open but Sarah says the blast could hurt Shaw.

Back in the computer room, Hannah shows up.

“Surprise!” The two get to work on resetting the server.

Running out of air, Shaw tells Sarah and Casey to just blow the door open.

“No don’t!”

“Don’t do that…computer. I talk to them because sometimes I feel like it helps,” Chuck says as the curator and Hannah look at him strangely. They reboot the server and Shaw is lifted to safety. Chuck and Hannah embrace each other, excited about their successful outcome. The curator is so impressed with their work that he tells them about the art exhibit opening the following evening. Chuck begins to decline the invitation but the curator informs them it is not an invitation but a job opening. The curator wants to hire Chuck and Hannah to make sure no more bugs or computer mishaps occur during the unveiling of the Mask of Alexander (the artifact Shaw was trying to steal). Shaw tells Chuck to take the job so the group can go back in under cover and steal the mask.

After the opening credits, Shaw brings Sarah a cup of coffee, hinting at a potential romance between the two. [Ed. Note--These are not your grandparents' sexual innuendos!] Sarah is reluctant to Shaw’s advance thus far. Chuck and Casey enter the fort and Shaw briefs everyone about the mask. He believes the Ring are using said mask and other stolen artifacts to smuggle items throughout the world, since artifacts “do not have to go through a screening process” (this is TV, after all). Shaw then assigns everyone roles for the upcoming mission: Chuck is in the computer room as noted already, Casey is on surveillance duty, and Sarah and Shaw will be people attending the art opening as guests, posing as a couple.

Morgan and Ellie meet at Ellie’s place.

Morgan believes that Chuck’s new erratic behavior is a way of protecting them. Ellie is skeptical but Morgan brings up “the dark place,” referring to Chuck after one of his other exes broke up with him.

Next we get a sequence that weaves through Chuck and Hannah preparing for their mission in the computer room of the museum to Shaw and Sarah’s preparations, first posing as guests and then going in to steal the mask while replacing it with a decoy.

While in the computer room, Hannah reveals that she has feelings for Chuck and then moves in for the kill

Bow chicka wow wow!

Hannah stops though, because she sees Sarah on the security monitor for the lobby of the museum.

Hannah confronts Chuck about Sarah and asks about their relationship. Chuck says it is completely over. Hannah is curious to know what reasons Sarah would have to be at the museum other than to make Chuck jealous with the date she brought (Shaw). Chuck looks over at the security monitor again and has a flash when he sees this guy:

Chuck rushes out of the computer room and into the lobby. He tells Sarah and Shaw about The Ring agent he flashed on, Vassilis. Shaw says they have to abort the mission because he and Vassilis have a history. When Sarah asks if Shaw is sure Vassilis would remember him, Shaw says, “You tend to remember the guy who set your face on fire.” Shaw withdraws himself from the mission to not get the group’s cover blown. Chuck and Sarah go back to the room from earlier where Casey and Sarah tried to rescue Shaw. During that whole time, Hannah watched the group’s conversation and saw Chuck run off with Sarah, leading her to believe there is still something going on between them.

Chuck sends a bug into the computer system to keep Hannah busy while he and Sarah try to steal the mask. The curator starts berating Hannah about the whole thing as she tries to fix the problem. While in the room above the vault, Chuck hoists Sarah down into the vault so she can steal the mask and put in the decoy. While holding Sarah, Chuck is attacked by one of Vassilis’ henchmen, which sends him into the vault and Sarah back up. As the clock moves closer and closer to 8 PM, when the mask is supposed to be unveiled, Hannah works harder to fix the problem so the vault will open. From the van outside, Casey and Shaw work to keep Hannah busy. Hannah proves to be adept at fixing bugs because she keeps trumping the problems that come her way.

Chuck is still trying to switch the masks..but the vault doors begin to open.

Shaw manages to close the doors using a back-door connection through Chuck’s laptop (the one Hannah is using to fix these problems). The crowd gathered outside the vault are now confused.

Chuck finally manages to switch the masks.

The team returns to Castle (the CIA base under the yogurt store), except for Chuck, who goes to talk to Hannah. She yells at him for leaving her alone on her first Nerd Herd assignment and is upset that he lied to her about he and Sarah not being “finished.” Chuck says that he and Sarah have a very “unique” relationship. Hannah is upset that she kissed Chuck and says from here on out they should just keep things professional.

The next morning Ellie and Morgan talk about the whole Chuck situation. Morgan thinks that instead of all the sneaking around they should just confront Chuck straight up and talk to him about it. Chuck interrupts the two and Morgan ends up chickening out on asking Chuck what he’s been doing lately.

Back in the museum, Vassilis watches the security tapes of what happened the previous night. He realizes he can get the mask back by using Hannah. Vassilis calls the Nerd Herd and asks them to send Hannah because the museum is still having computer problems.

Hannah arrives at the museum and meets with Vassilis. She asks where the curator is and Vassilis replies that he is “tied up” (isn’t wordplay FUN?) Vassilis lures Hannah into the vault, shuts the doors, and triggers the security system to the oxygen begins draining slowly. (Just like Shaw’s predicament earlier in the episode, callbacks HEY-OH!)

Vassilis calls the Nerd Herd again and tells Chuck to bring him the mask or Hannah dies. Morgan tries to approach Chuck about all this weird behavior but Chuck runs out to get to the museum. Morgan follows him into the home theatre room but Chuck has gone through a secret hatch in the floor that connects the Buy More to Castle.

In Castle, Sarah and Shaw are trying to figure out if the mask has anything in it when the discover a secret hatch at the bottom. A canister rolls out of it and goes off which fills the room with smoke.

The smoke is revealed to be a poison called clyclosarin. Chuck flashes on the name and discovers there is a cure that can be inhaled. Chuck and Casey head back to the museum to retrieve the counter agent while saving Hannah in the process. Chuck uses a smoke grenade on Vassilis and his men, since Vassilis doesn’t the original poison canister already went off.

Back in Castle, Shaw and Sarah have a RealTalk <3-to-<3.

Shaw wants to clear the air between them in case they don’t survive being poisoned and admits he has been making moves on Sarah. Sarah admits she has been overreacting to his advances and also admits she has enjoyed being hit on. The computer monitors indicate that the contamination has been contained. The poison is having more of an effect on Sarah, so Shaw carries her out of Castle and into a car where they head to the museum.

In the museum, Chuck presents the decoy mask to Vassilis and his men. Vassilis says that Hannah must die because The Ring is not so forgiving of Chuck stealing the mask. Chuck says he will deploy the weapon if they refuse to let Hannah free. Vassilis thinks Chuck is bluffing so Chuck drops the mask. The grenade goes off and Vassilis’ henchmen freak out, thinking they are poisoned. Vassilis says the counter agent is in one of the vases in the museum. Chuck flashes on the correct vase, since it was stolen, and uses it to knock out Vassilis.

Chuck heads to the computer room and releases Hannah before she runs out of oxygen. Sarah and Shaw arrive and Casey gives them the counter agent. Chuck runs into the vault to check on Hannah. She is happy to see Chuck and embraces him.

Back in Castle, Shaw thanks Chuck for his work. Shaw also tells Chuck that the team won’t always be together, and that Shaw, Casey, and Sarah were Chuck’s training wheels but it is apparent that Chuck will be able to ride solo soon.

Chuck is a little shocked at this revelation. As he is leaving Castle, Sarah talks to him to make sure he is alright. Chuck says he got used to everyone working as a team. Sarah says they aren’t going anywhere yet but the time is nearing. The two also talk about how each has a new romantic interest and both seem to be happy moving on.

Ellie meets Morgan at the Buy More late at night. Morgan notes that Chuck has been sneaking around somewhere in the store. They walk up to the home theatre room and both sneak a peak in.

They see Chuck, and he isn’t alone…

Ellie is thrilled about seeing Chuck with Hannah because it means he isn’t sulking over Sarah. Morgan is not so thrilled since he has feelings for Hannah.

Back in Castle, Shaw and Sarah’s relationship “begins to take shape.” Shaw begins giving Sarah a massage. She lets it happen, but notes, “We both know how dangerous this is”–referring to the fact that both of them had previously had relationships with their partners and both those partners had been killed in action.

The final scene shows Vassilis talking to The Ring.

Vassilis informs them that he saw Shaw at the museum and asks The Ring what they plan on doing. One of the members replies, “The same thing I’m going to do to you,” and then someone from the darkness emerges to kill Vassilis. The camera zooms out of the room and the episode ends.

Love was a prevalent theme in this episode, as it had a role in the budding romances of the episode–Chuck and Hannah, as well as Shaw and Sarah. The conversation towards the end of the episode between Chuck and Sarah was interesting, because it could mean they still have feelings for one another despite finding other love interests. The relationship between Morgan and Chuck is going to be interesting moving forward as well, since Morgan had a crush on Hannah, who is now with Chuck. Watching these relationships develop throughout the rest of the season should be fun.

One big looming question still remains: Who is The Ring? So far, we’ve only seen a shadowy board of figures that has problems with CIA agents. Thus far, we have no idea what their actual goal is. As the season unfolds, hopefully more and more about the Ring will become clear.

See you all next week!

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