You may remember something we posted this past November, an open letter to “The Letter ‘P’ in Pneumonia.”  Well it seems Pneumonia (it?)self has replied to the criticism and we’ve decided to post the retort here for everyone to see…

Dear Alan,

I’m sorry you find my preliminary P so worrisome. But surely you know enough about your own language to realize that “pneumono-” has its roots in ancient Greek to describe all things lung- and floatation-related. Without it, we would be lost, unable to describe such medical conditions in such a succinct way, instead having to say “that condition where there’s fluid in your lungs and they have become inflamed, probably because of the presence of some bacteria or virus.” If that all-important P was left off and you chose to spell me “neumenia,” people might start to think that, instead of a deadly disease, I am some sort of delightful musical condition where multiple notes are sung as one syllable.

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Amidst the current recession come some of the highest unemployment rates of all time standing at 8.8% as of March, just 2% less than the highest unemployment rate of all time. Country-wide parents helplessly search for employment in a nation relying heavily on automated machines and it looks as though they may have another competitor: children.

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If you heard the words “Krispy Kreme Challenge” you might guess that it had something to do with eating a lot of donuts and trying not to puke afterwards. The official challenge, which happened here in Tallahasse on February 5^th, took this idea a step further by requiring participants to consume a dozen donuts in the middle of a four mile marathon.

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I’m just going to start off by saying that I love road trips. I love the games, telling scary stories, pigging out on junk food and listening to cheesy radio stations. But my favorite aspect of road trips is the ever strange and quirky roadside attractions. Most of us have heard of Johnny Appleseed, but what about Johnny Donutseed? This 25 ft. statue stands on BP truck stop at exit 217 on the I-10. Both Johnnys share the signature ripped pants, pony tail and friendly smile. But Donutseed proudly wears a BP trucker uniform while holding a donut in one hand and drinking a hot cup of coffee in the other. Photos are free, but the Donut seeds are sold separately (like not at all).

Dear P,
I recognize you, you sly thing. I see you from a mile away. You’re the red headed step child, the ice cream without the cherry, the solar powered flashlight. Today I got my spelling test back. Would you like to know my score? It’s a 95% and it’s because of you and your misplaced sense of self importance. Do you feel special sitting there in front of the ‘n’? Do you truly feel your contribution to the overall spelling and complexity of “neumonia” is beneficial? I’m not surprised though; you weaseled your way into neumonia just like you and your accomplice ‘h’ weaseled your way into phone. I’m surprised the other 24 letters haven’t kicked your ass yet.

Having paper in your wallet by doing little to no work has always been an attractive concept. The proof lies within the growing amount of people who have been joining the World Series of Poker since it first appeared on television. It’s only three days of work for the first prize of over eight million. When it was first televised almost ten years ago, the prime winnings were a lowly cool million. I grew towards poker during my teenage years but found out soon enough that I was no good at it and did not have the patience to dig through books and highlight sections on the practice of “reading your opponent.”

Fortunately, there’s a better option than making the yearly “business” trip to Vegas for a minimal chance at profiting: the stock market. Dow Jones and Apple are up while Yahoo suffers and I’m feeling lucky. They say bears and bulls make money. What about man? Better yet, why not anybody?

As I write this, I’m only about a month deep into studying the stock market and investing but I have an insatiable thirst to watch my money progress into more. With the aid of my trusty financial advisor, Eric, I’ll bring information to the masses on what is or is not a functioning aspect of being a new investor. Time will progress and based on my language, you, as a reader, will probably be able to tell how well or poorly my endeavors are doing. I will not, however, be giving an analysis of the market and why the time may or may not be prime to invest in so-and-so and sell because of this or that. If that’s your expectation then go watch Mad Money with Jim Cramer. It’s got the information you need and the attention-grabbing ability that’s equivalent to kids watching Dora the Explorer or Barney.

Each week I’ll discuss what I’ve learned and share information based on how I’m exploiting the market. Just don’t expect me to admit to any insider trading.

This week’s Term for Success: Time value of money. This relates to the fact that money today could be potentially worth more than the same amount in the future, primarily because it can be invested and has the extra time to grow interest. Example: A $500 savings bond at 5% per year over the course of ten years is actually worth $750. This may not seem like a lot but it is a secure investment.

The month of October brings a lot of important and exciting events into our lives. There’s Halloween, Oktoberfest and midterms. More importantly, it’s also Breast Cancer Awareness month. During October, people everywhere pay their respects and give donations to charities that endlessly search for a cure. You can walk down an aisle of any local store and find items sporting the signature pink ribbon, symbolizing the fight against breast cancer but that little ribbon might also be a sneaky trap. With the rise in popularity of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, many companies stick pink ribbons on the packaging of their products in order to give themselves a marketing edge. Continue Reading »

Last Thurday’s episode explored Sheldon’s relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler while Leonard’s new situation as the only single guy was exploited in the name of hilarity.

Leonard asks Sheldon about Amy, hinting that Sheldon now has a girlfriend. Sheldon makes it very clear that Amy is just a friend and it doesn’t look like their relationship is going to move beyond video chatting and emailing until Amy wants to bring him home to her mom. Sheldon then does everything he can to avoid her, even sending a breakup email to end things quickly. However, Amy eventually gets a chance to tell Sheldon that she only wants to introduce him as her boyfriend to her mother so that she can leave her alone about the subject. He agrees and later gets a chance explain to Amy’s mother that he’s getting his jam on with her daughter on a regular basis.

Meanwhile, Leonard notices how alone he is compared to his friends. Howard has Bernadette, Sheldon has Amy (kind of), Stuart is hesitantly dating a girl he picked up at Comic-Con to avoid being lonely and even Raj found a loophole to get by his inability to speak to women by dating a deaf girl. Facing all of this, Leonard invokes the girlfriend pact with Howard; meaning he’ll agree to let Bernadette set Leonard up with one of her friends. Meanwhile, I’m thinking: What about Penny? The pact led to Leonard having an awful date with Joy, an unfeminine and athletic woman who thinks TMI is funny. Even I was repelled by her.

By the end of the show, I was still wondering about Sheldon and Amy. It would be an awesome sub plot to keep revisiting and I wouldn’t mind seeing them become more than just friends. Not to mention that Sheldon’s potential girlfriend handling antics could be the most entertaining addition to the show.

It was only a matter of time until one of these little guys was created. Kudos to the scientists who figured out how to blend spider and chipmunk so well. It really is an accomplishment. Last week when the little guy, nicknamed Katchja, after one of the scientists daughters, was being shown off at the latest Phobia Convention, several psychologists showed a lot of interest in him. “I think that using something like this… [I] might be able to cure some of my patients of their arachnophobia,” (Dr. George Stranopulous, Zyberg Institute). Here’s hoping that little “Katchja” will be able to make the world a more friendly spider place.

As soon as I walked into the Old City Cemetery, it was hard to miss the looming tombstone of Elizabeth Budd Graham (nicknamed Bessie).  Erected in the late 1880s, the monument is still the grandest one in the whole cemetery.  Dead by the age of 23, Bessie left behind two sons and a loving husband.  She took her last breath and her infamy began. After seeing the tombstone in person, I can tell why people would be a little curious.  While the end of her life is well documented on her tombstone, there are no additional records of any Elizabeth Budd Graham before her marriage, prompting rumors of her being a witch that coaxed a wealthy man to marry her. Christian custom dictates that all graves should face east.  But this giant tombstone very obviously faces west, a sure sign of following the devil. While it was customary to write small, inspiring quotes on gravestones, Bessie’s tombstone has Edgar Allen Poe’s poem “Lenore” inscribed in the cold stone. The fact that she was born only 12 days away from Halloween also adds to the mystique. More than a hundred years later, strangeness still surrounds the tombstone.   There have apparently been sightings of pagan rituals late at night and it is even said that an unknown person still brings flowers to her grave. Indeed, I saw a bucket of dead flowers and a seashell on her gravesite.  But the place is anything but menacing or scary.  It’s actually quite serene and the architecture beautifully compliments the willow trees of the cemetery. But remember, I went in the afternoon when the sun scares away all matters of supernatural beings.  The cemetery at night is a whole other place I have yet to see.  Only the bravest of you can venture out into this strange world.  For when the witching hour comes, who knows who will be there to greet you? Want to have your own Weird Tallahassee experience? Visit the Old City Cemetery at: N Martin Luther King Jr Blvd Tallahassee, FL 32301 Bring comfortable sneakers, a camera, a notebook and pen, and a group of brave friends.