In July, Seminole Dining’s Park Avenue Diner was converted into a Denny’s All-Nighter. As a former Park Avenue employee and a current Denny’s employee, I witnessed the changes first-hand and have heard quite the mix of opinions by students, faculty, and others around town.

Park Avenue Diner was a 1950s style diner with a jukebox, a huge counter space, and a tight-knit family of workers. The combination of these things along with all the loyal customers gave the Diner its own unique personality. The food itself was just adequate, but although it sometimes took too long to be served, the overall experience ensured that people kept coming back. From restaurant-wide standing ovations at two in the morning to the infamous streakers running through the dining room at random times throughout the semester, you never knew what to expect when you walked in the front door.

While the transformation into Denny’s did away with the original character of the Diner, it also brought forth its own. Our “Denny’s All-Nighter” is currently the first and only of its kind. While most locations have a Late Nite Menu, similar to that of the Diner, the All-Nighter provides the same menu no matter what time of day it is. Although relatively similar to the Diner’s menu, there are now more options including paninis, sweet potato fries, smoothies, blended coffee drinks, pancake puppies, and vegetarian options (Amy’s Veggie Burrito and a Veggie Breakfast Burrito). The only loss suffered food-wise is that the Freshman 15 is no longer available. In addition, this Denny’s is music-themed. With flat screens for music videos and speakers blaring great music, Denny’s is really trying to portray a new look. The set-up of the restaurant is a mix of both modern and retro styles. The goal is to attract more customers and so far it seems to be working.

Due to the increase in business, the restaurant has become too big for its shoes. The main area is cluttered with mismatching tables that create a maze to get through, the kitchen and management is understaffed and overworked, the dish-pit should be three times its current size, and there are more servers on staff than there are tables in the restaurant. Despite this, the restaurant as a whole seems to be improving by the day. At this rate everything should be in order and running smoothly in the near future. A group of “Regulars” is even starting to form. But right now in the midst of chaos, we servers are doing our best to uphold the Diner’s memorable reputation. The place is different now, but it has the potential to be just as good.

Consider the Yeti Blog back online folks. It’s been a nice lazy summer with a good portion of us not spending it in Tallahassee, but now fall term is in full swing. This means that there’s a new batch of staff writers for our editorial team to routinely beat up and intimidate as we try to increase our print output this semester. Before you know it there’ll be more new issues lying around town for you to find. They might be in local stores and restaurants or maybe crumpled up in a gutter near you! They’re great insulation for homeless people during the cold Tallahassee winters and you can also read them if you want. Anyways, we’re all happy to be back and please forgive us for update drought of 2010. Check out the blog every couple days for new material!

On March 23 of this year, the day the House of Representatives passed health care reform, many of the Democratic members of Congress went about their business in the capital and walked among protesters of the bill gathered in the streets. A few of those protesters called Congressional Black Caucus Members Reps. John Lewis (D-Ga.) and Andre Carson (D-Ind.) niggers. Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.), also of the Congressional Black Caucus, was spit on, though he did not file any charges against the man who spit on him. Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), arguably the most high-profile openly gay elected official in the country, was called a faggot. These events were reported by the media and condemned by the leaders of both parties. Then a funny thing happened—several prominent conservative internet pundits called “Video or it didn’t happen.” Only one prominent Republican, Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.), Chairman of the House Republican Conference, has publicly defended the integrity of his fellow members of Congress.

Led by Andrew Breitbart (of Breitbart.com, breitbart.tv, Big Hollywood, Big Government, Big Journalism, and what seems like several million shouting matches across various cable news shows and YouTube clips of conservative rallies and conferences), the pundits claimed the events had been fabricated by Lewis, et al, and fed to a complicit liberal-controlled media machine. This accusation has become something of a meme in the right-wing internet world, and has escalated to the point of Breitbart offering—betting, really—a $10,000 donation to the United Negro College Fund if someone could offer “verifiable video evidence” of the events or if Rep. Lewis will pass a lie detector test. Then he raised his bet to $100,000. No one has yet indulged him, and he has since taken that as proof that the events were fabricated. Michelle Malkin has parroted Breitbart’s claim, as has RedState’s Erick Erickson, who said it on CNN. (The travesty of Erick Erickson’s employment at CNN is another rant unto itself.)

Let us leave aside the passive-aggressive racism of Breitbart’s & Co.’s continued and vehement denials that anyone in their beloved 80 percent white tea party movement could harbor racial prejudice and get carried away during protests on a very tense day. Let us also avoid going down the rabbit hole of what their “if it wasn’t recorded, it didn’t happen” stance implies for the philosophical understanding of reality and what is true in the contemporary world dominated as it is by the mediasphere and the voyeurism and exhibitionism of people’s self-surveillance where Big Brother is no longer the government or any organized body but simply everyone around you. Because to me, the most interesting part of this whole sordid affair is Mike Pence.

On April 9, at the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans, Pence told the Washington Post’s David Weigel this:

“A couple of weeks before the alleged incident occurred, I was walking across the bridge in Selma, Ala., with John Lewis,” said Pence. “I take at face value what John Lewis said. If John Lewis said he heard it, I believe he’s a man of integrity. And I would denounce those kinds of statements in the strongest possible terms.”

It struck me as important that Pence mentioned his personal relationship with Lewis. They know each other, they have to work together as members of Congress. Andrew Breitbart has probably never met John Lewis, and never will. Neither, I bet, has Malkin or Erickson. Pence had nothing obvious to gain politically from taking Lewis’ side. He just knew the man, and stuck up for his honor. It was a profoundly human thing to do.

Not to get all touchy-feely, but we sometimes forget that the United States Congress, and the government in general, is just a collection of human beings working together to improve and maintain our great nation. They are more than just a collage of slogans, soundbites, bad jokes, posters, 30-second TV spots, and ideologies. They are people of flesh and blood, of families and friends, of hopes and dreams. And they work together and get to know each other.

John Lewis is not a human being to Breitbart & Co., just a target. He is an instrument they can play on to drum up controversy and attention. As former Bush speechwriter David Frum (you know you’re in trouble when the man who coined “Axis of Evil” is the voice of reason) wrote in a brilliant post (titled “Waterloo”) on his blog FrumForum:

“Overheated talk has made it impossible for representatives to represent and elected leaders to lead. The real leaders [of the GOP] are on TV and radio [and the internet], and they have very different imperatives from people in government. Talk radio thrives on confrontation and recrimination.”

Frum’s main example was popular talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, but Malkin, Erickson, and Breitbart in particular all follow this model, and often take it even further. Everywhere he goes, Breitbart has his own camera crew following him, because he knows that every time he runs into someone who disagrees with him even slightly he can start a shouting match, get emotions running high, maybe provoke someone into saying something stupid, and make a compelling YouTube video that gets several million views and gets his various websites increased traffic, making him more money, which he can then gamble away daring members of Congress to let him impugn their integrity.

I have a hunch that he wouldn’t be nearly as effective a provocateur if he knew his targets personally, if they were his friends. Andrew Breitbart is also a human being, with feelings. No matter who you are, it’s much easier to hurl outrageous accusations at a stranger than at your friend.

Which is why, when it comes to the character of members of Congress, I’ll take Mike Pence’s word over Andrew Breitbart’s, “verifiable video evidence” be damned.

At pharmacies and grocery stores around the country, condoms are being held hostage. These stores, some motivated to stop theft, others motivated to keep “inappropriate” items out of the reach of younger customers, are locking up their condoms. In order to purchase a pack of condoms, customers must ask a pharmacist to unlock a case, get an individual box of condoms freed from its plastic prison by a clerk, or ask for condoms kept behind a counter, where they are stored with toxic cigarettes, cold medicines that can be used to make methamphetamines, and lighters.

The CVS on Tennessee St. (the closest pharmacy to FSU) uses the individual plastic prison approach. Customers must bring the case up to a cashier to have the condom box released before purchasing. Regardless of the reasons for purchasing a condom, let’s get two things straight: when used correctly condoms decrease the likelihood of unwanted pregnancy, and they prevent the spread of Sexually Transmitted Diseases.  So why are these stores making it so hard for us to protect ourselves?

Locking a condom in a plastic box creates several problems. First, it extends the awkward period of time spent purchasing condoms (because we all know what we’d rather be doing instead of buying the condoms.) Second, it draws unwanted attention to the condom buyer. Third, it increases the stigmas put on premarital sex.  All of these problems can lead to a decreased desire to buy, and therefore use, condoms.

Their Corporate Media and Public Relations Department is not very good at relating to the public (or answering phone calls, returning messages, and that type of thing). And although the CVS managers are unable to speak to media, I did find out their condom lockdown has been attributed to theft. Condoms are among the most stolen items at drugstores.

However, is the loss of a few dollar profit every once and a while really more important than having young people’s decision to engage in unprotected sex on your hands?

According to a survey conducted through FSU’s Thagard Student Health Center and the National College Health Association, 17-18 percent of students use condoms consistently for penal-vaginal intercourse. 15 percent never use condoms for penal-vaginal intercourse. Only .3 percent use condoms consistently for oral sex. And 48 percent never use condoms for oral sex.

Chlamydia, herpes and human papillomavirus (HPV) are the STDs most frequently seen at Thagard, and chlamydia and gonorrhea are on the rise in Leon County. 60-80 percent of people have no symptoms for these diseases, and spread them unknowingly. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can also be passed through oral sex, and STDs, like HPV and herpes, can even be passed through skin-to-skin contact. Condom use is essential to stop the spread of STDs in our county, state and country.

Melvena Wilson, HIV Clinic Coordinator and Minority Health Educator at Thagard Student Health Center, encourages students to alleviate risks through condom use, STD testing, and monogamy.

“I recommend they use condoms every time for every sexual act, no matter how long they’ve been with their partner,” said Wilson. “You and your partner should get tested before having sex…and use condoms every time, start to finish…If you’re going to be sexually active, you need to be sexually responsible.”

But what if condoms are difficult to come by? What if being sexually responsible is really hard? In the instantaneous, pleasure-driven, Veruca Salt “I want it now” climate of college, driving to four places to get condoms is just unrealistic. If a person stops at CVS on the way home only to find locked up condoms, they may choose not to use protection instead of driving to another store, making the quickest and easiest decision. That quickest and easiest decision leaves them unprotected.

With these embarrassingly low condom use percentages, and STD rates consequently on the rise, why won’t CVS unlock their condoms?

Their refusal to free the latex may be a result of a lack of community uproar.

Wilson doesn’t seem to think locked up condoms affect condom use in any way. In fact, she thinks people who are too embarrassed to ask for condoms shouldn’t be having sex anyway.

“The embarrassment for asking for condoms will be the same whether you have to ask someone to unlock it or ask someone for it,” she said. “They need to get over the embarrassment of asking for condoms and asking for protection because they are going to be a lot more embarrassed if they have to come in here and ask for an HIV test…If they are old enough and mature enough to have sex, then they’re old enough to ask for condoms.”

Ideally, all sexually active people would be mature and responsible citizens dedicated to protecting themselves and others. But in reality, and on this campus, there are a lot of immature and irresponsible people having sex without protection, and despite their flaws, they deserve easier access to condoms.

Wilson then compared asking for condoms to asking for sinus medication. On one hand, I like this comparison. Condoms are normal and mundane, just like any other health product, and sex outside of marriage must be de-stigmatized in order to protect participants. However, as far as I know, if you don’t treat a sinus infection, you aren’t likely to die. If you don’t use condoms, you run a risk of catching diseases that can cause pain, infertility and death.

People seem to be writing off those embarrassed about buying protection as unworthy of our help. But the bottom line is that condoms are not sinus medication. Condoms are far more important, and need to be more accessible. Thagard, students and the community should be doing more to improve our abysmal condom use rates, even if it means taking a stand against a corporate power.

Thagard does participate and initiate a lot of safe-sex programming and aids in the de-stigmatization of sex. They also offer free male and female condoms, flavored condoms and lubrications in a wide variety of brands. In addition to protection, students can also get HIV and STD tests there, some of which are free. Obviously, the lack of condom use is not due to Thagard Health Center and particularly Melvena Wilson’s lack of effort. They work very hard.

Sophomore Psychology student Jessa Miller praised Thagard for their work in the residence halls, which she has seen working with University Housing as Vice President of Landis Hall. She likes that the safe sex education programming informs new students about the resources available in the health center. However, she thinks there are a few things that could be improved.

“The only thing I think they should do different is move the condoms from the third floor to the first floor.”

Miller did, however, find a problem with CVS’s condom policy.

“I think that it is very ignorant and not socially responsible of them, because as college students or as teenagers in general, a lot of people, especially when you get into younger kids who are having sex, are embarrassed about it,” she said. “It’s something you want to keep private. So if you force them to go behind the desk and ask someone for condoms, they’re a lot less likely to buy them.”

Miller said she would be less likely to purchase condoms if they were locked up, which shows the flaws in CVS’s judgment and Wilson’s ability to brush off their policy as something that doesn’t affect condom use. Not only is CVS losing customers and revenue, but they may also be a small part of FSU’s low percentage of consistent condom users.

“When I decide to engage in sexual relations, it’s my decision and it’s nothing that I want to make obvious to everyone to everyone standing behind me in line or everyone else in the store,” Miller said.

She wouldn’t buy condoms at CVS. Other condom buyers complain about having to wait for someone to unlock their condom case, losing privacy, having store employees give them judgmental looks, or coming at a time when the materials used to unlock condom cases are unavailable.

Alternative ways of buying condoms are becoming popular. Several Yeti writers admitted to only buying condoms from stores with self check-out lines. Many students, especially women, felt this buying strategy protected them from judgment. One student even admitted to buying condoms online. It’s cheap, easy, and carries no risk of embarrassment. Other students grab free condoms from places like Thagard or buy from stores like Walgreen’s that have company policies against locking up condoms.

“Our policy is to keep [condoms] available and unlocked,” said Carol Hively, Walgreen’s corporate spokesperson in a 2008 Creative Loafing article. “Our goal chainwide is for easy access and no hindrances for people wanting to buy condoms.”

It’s great that some students are taking the initiative to obtain condoms in alternative ways, and that a few companies are taking a stand. But what about the stores who aren’t and the students who saw CVS as the one stop they were making to buy condoms?

Right now, they’re unprotected.

Whatever CVS’ motivation to lock up condoms, be it theft or moral objection, they need to get over it. And students need to be more outraged. With condom usage only at 17-18 percent and much lower for oral sex, we should be doing more to help students procure easy access to condoms. If unlocking condoms at CVS gets one person using condoms consistently, it could save countless others by stopping the spread of disease. Safe sex education and free condoms at Thagard are a commendable start, but until the entire community de-stigmatizes sex and frees the condoms, the health of our students won’t be going anywhere.

In honor of today’s World Cup match against our colonial oppressors, here’s the greatest car commercial of all time.

Now that’s what I call a “special relationship.”

(Thanks for the tip, Luke.)

Apparently, he is state attorney general under Charlie Crist but is running to be governor of Florida too.  He is also trying to sue the federal government.

Let’s get this straight. Bill McCollum is standing up for our rights as citizens against health care reform! Three cheers for our one-man squad. Oh wait, he seems to have a team with him. A few other states have agreed to come together for this case, including: Alabama, Colorado, Idaho, Michigan, Nebraska, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, Utah and Washington. The attorney generals for each state have finally joined forces to stand up for our rights!
They just happen to be mostly Republicans. Definitely a coincidence. Definitely.

According to CNN, “White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said the Obama administration expected to win any lawsuits filed against the health care bill.” The big guys don’t seem to really be worried about the little Republican ant army.

Specifically, McCollum stated he had problems with the insurance mandate in the health care bill, that requires everyone to be insured or pay a fine, but low-income people get an exception if the insurance costs are too much. His argument: “This is a tax or a penalty on just living, and that’s unconstitutional. There’s no provision in the Constitution of the United States giving Congress the power to do that.” He wants to personally sue President Obama for surpassing his boundaries as President of the United States.

However, there is power in the people. More specifically, power in a single man to speak for the country as a whole. Oh wait, that’s the president, the one who signed the health care reform bill after the House of Representatives passed it. (You know the House of Representatives, that group of folks we the people decided were qualified to make decisions on our behalf as representatives in an election.)

It seems like this fun little political scandal/press gimmick is a fresh and interesting reminder that most people in this country don’t really understand that we do control the government, hence the title DEMOCRACY. The president was elected, remember that? In 2008, with all the signs with John McCain’s face on them?

McCollum claims this is an infringement on our rights, but let’s take a few steps back. Exactly what will the Health Care Bill do, anyway? What McCollum didn’t say:

• Health care reform would reduce deficit by $143 billion over the next ten years.
• Over 32 million Americans will now be insured with affordable health coverage who were not insured previously.
• With Medicare, senior citizens also will receive a 50% discount on prescription drugs starting in 2011.
• Medicaid will expand to include 133 % of the federal poverty level (FPL) and to include childless adults.
• The Federal Government will pay 100% of newly eligible individuals’ costs.
• Illegal immigrants can no longer legally purchase insurance coverage, even if they pay for it themselves… in cash.
• Insurance companies cannot deny coverage to children with preexisting medical conditions and by 2016, they cannot deny coverage to anyone with a preexisting condition.
• Insurance companies have to allow children to stay on their parents’ insurance plan until they are 26. (Now that’s a plus I can get behind!)

So regardless of the insurance mandate that McCollum so avidly hates, the reform bill really isn’t some big bad monster come to eat all of our lives away.  If we are looking for inexpensive health care, and I think that deep down inside we all are, it seems Obama had his head on straight when he signed that bill. It appears there are a lot of benefits, that responsible leaders carefully thought out to put into this health care reform bill. Most of them are benefits, but nothing in this world comes free, hence the mandate. Whoever expected to have doctors at their door begging to treat patients who don’t have insurance and can’t afford to pay out of pocket must have been confused–and that is what the mandate is for. So calm down McCollum, Big Mr. President Man knows what he’s doing.

Yahoo! News has its take on the matter with this outstanding headline: “White House, experts: Health care suit will fail.” I think that says it all.

For all those who claim Canada or Costa Rica are better options, or are maybe looking over to Russia from their Alaskan border where the ice is apparently whiter, remember that Canada and Costa Rica have socialist universal health care like most of Europe, and Russia used to be the USSR.

Poor mister kitty. Look at you hard at work, disrupting the stopper in the sink. You marvel me with your speed and determination. Even though your paws clearly seem to be making no progress, you don’t let it get you down. The world needs more determined people like you. You inspire me.

On the other hand you remind of the guy at the office who works on the third floor, but no one really knows what he does. Those who do know his job can tell you that he’s wasting his time, but no one has the heart to tell him. I don’t have the heart to stop your pointless digging. It’s okay though because you look cute doing it.

Oh my goodness little cold piggy, I just want to scoop you up and put you in my Ugg boots. You have been the inspiration I needed to make bath time purposeful. The kids I baby sit think that I’m trying to drown them when I start filing up the tub. Not even bubbles and rubber duckies are enough to entice them.

In the future I’ll just throw them out in the cold for a half hour or so. By then they’ll be begging me to let them inside and give them a bath. Plus I’ll make an extra dollar that night for having the kids clean for the parents.

Here’s a thank you in advance for helping me solve the crisis of bath time. Hopefully you can remind us all how pleasant a warm bath can be.

My fellow Americans, here we are again, confronted with seven minutes of the most insane/hilarious political propaganda ever created.

Carly Fiorina’s new campaign ad stars Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) as a horrible demon blimp that floats around our nation, babbling indistinctly and casting an ominous shadow over all of us.

I know what you’re thinking: “Who will save us from the comical zeppelin of terror?” Carly can, my child. Carly can.

Who’s Carly? Judging by this video, she’s another millionaire former CEO convinced (correctly) that you can buy advertising with money.

I love the comparisons we see: Carly smiling with a warm backdrop, smash cut to the Boxer Blimp spewing “partisan hot air” (HAHA GET IT? BCUZ SHE’S A BLIMP???) or a shot of her crying at random monuments in DC.

Not that we should be surprised, really. After all, this is a state whose governor slid his way into office toting a funny accent and a “bad ass” movie resume. It was bound to create these little “Carly-Monsters.”

The small truth anyone can and should extract from this abomination is this: the people responsible for this ad are IDIOTS. Carly is a law school drop-out who should be focusing less on comically losing a Senate bid and more on keeping the voices at bay.

The question remains the same: Who believes this shit? Is there someone out there, anyone, who believes Senator Boxer is more concerned with global warming than with actual terrorism? Actually, now that I think about it, of course there is. Probably a lot of people believe that. Which makes it really hard to not just give up and surrender. At least there will always be people like Carly to give people like me something to laugh about.

God bless America.