The Oscars were on this Sunday, and just like every single otherwise reputable news organization, The Yeti was there! We were liveblogging it, from the Twitter machine. @theyetiblog was your friendly neighborhood Yetiblog editor (me, Andy) and @FSUYeti was contributing writer and Yetiblogger Ian. Here are the highlights, aka all the tweets, just all of them:

Andy: We’re about to start @theyetiblog‘s livetweeting of the Oscars! @FSUYeti will be joining in the tweeting in about a half hour.   7:51 PM Mar 7th

Andy: As for your friendly neighborhood Yetiblogger, we will brb after we RUUUUUUUUNNNN to get a bunch of alcohol, because seriously, necessary.   7:52 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: Always drink responsibly.]

Andy: Taylor Lautner is there, wearing a shirt! #weird   8:27 PM Mar 7th

Ian: Here go the Oscars…   8:30 PM Mar 7th

Andy: Is it starting? OK it’s starting. Livetweets, AWAAAYYY!!!   8:31 PM Mar 7th

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This is a story about Argentinian lingerie model Angie Valencia, and her alleged cocaine ring.

That’s NOT her. That’s an insurance broker. But, she owns the domain name angievalencia.com. I just wanted to let you know in case you ran there hoping for some glamour shots. THAT’S NOT HER. This is her:

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Do we even need to explain?

Dear little kitty,

My mother would love it if her children responded with as much delight and joy as you do while eating your cat food. It’s hard to smile and rub your stomach when you are eating leftovers for the third night in a row! But obviously it isn’t hard for you.

I wish I could bring you to all of the family dinners and have you sit next to me. Unlike a dog who just sucks in food, showing no appreciation to the flavor or taste, you would make anyone feel like a great cook. Nyom nyom nyom nyom!

If only you had been there the day my grandma made me eat an egg sandwich on dry wheat bread. Maybe you could have eaten it in my place.

I thought that koala bears were supposed to be like those adorable stuffed bears I used to carry around with me when I was little! I was so wrong.

From now on, my koala bear stuffed animal will not have the privilege of sleeping beside me. Oh no. He will go on the floor- for all I know he might want to rip my throat open.

There are two things especially crazy about this video:

1. Koala bears actually moving!

2. The noises coming out of their cute little bodies sound more like death threats from the Devil.

But I’m also a little worried about the person taping this epic charade. He seems very, very concerned.

Perhaps these koalas just need to get a little more sleep in their 16-18 sleeping periods. Or maybe they should think about switching up their diet. It just occurred to me that koalas eat eucalyptus leaves, which are poisonous to other mammals.

What kind of cute creature would eat something that’s poison to other cute creatures? The evil kind, that’s what.

I went to see Avatar with my family in a packed suburban movie theater, and truth be told the only thing that sticks out in my memory now are the trailers, one in particular. Sure, everybody—including myself—made a little gasp or a yummy sound when we saw the words on the green-band message before the trailers lift off of the screen. But they mostly blurred together. It was a slew of standard family fare, such as the latest unnecessary Shrek movie, another Robert Zemeckis animated feature, and a lot of magical sparkly things flying across the screen in 3D. The main attraction hadn’t even started and the audience was already moaning and groaning like the proverbial money shot was imminent. Then the theater fell silent, and it was my turn to blow my movie-going load. A deep orchestral hum started up, the NASA logo appeared, and then the huge IMAX screen was filled with stars and wide angle shots of space equipment.

Call me a dork, but the IMAX: Hubble 3D trailer made me feel like a little boy on Christmas. It seemed completely out of place among all the kids’ movies, and the audience’s silent reaction seemed to agree with me.

I can see how it might be hard to get pumped for a movie that seems like it was made for science centers and museums. But I’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff produced by the Hubble telescope. The Ultra Deep Field 3D—that one time they pointed it at a patch of blank sky for over a week, found an unbelievable amount of galaxies clustered there, and made them into a 3D collage—was pretty memorable.

Stuff like that gets me hooked on the idea of a space documentary with that all-important third dimension added in.

Avatar alone gave me fleeting waves of vertigo; I can only imagine the head popping potential for this movie. Is anyone else with me, or am I just a nerd?

Image via ABCNews

Fast food pioneer and visionary Glen Bell, Jr. died in his home on January 16, 2010, at the age of 86. He brought the world one of the most famous businesses in America: Taco Bell.

Bell was born on September 3, 1923. He was one of Glen and Ruth Bell’s six children. Raised in California, he served in the Marines during World War II. Upon his return to California, he first got into the fast food by opening up a few drive-in stands in the late 1940s. Originally he had a hamburger stand, which competed with the other drive-in places around, but his fondness for Mexican food drove him to found Taco Bell. Bell first sold tacos at his stand for a mere 19 cents, and they became so popular that he opened up Taco Tias with a single partner in 1954. In 1956 Bell sold the Taco Tias because his partner no longer wanted to expand the franchise. One year after selling Taco Tias he opened El Taco with three other partners, but after realizing he didn’t want to answer to partners anymore, he struck out on his own and opened the first Taco Bell in 1962 in Downey, California. His initial $4,000 investment in the restaurant soon turned into a money-making machine. In two years he opened eight more Taco Bells, with grand openings featuring live salsa music, free sombreros, and searchlights. The chain grew rapidly. By the time it was bought out by PepsiCo in 1978, there were already 868 franchises open. Now the company claims to operate more than 5,800 franchises and serve over 2 billion customers a year in the United States.

I can’t even begin to put into words how much this man has impacted my life. I’ve made many many many drunken runs to the Bell—even sober ones. I never met the man, but without him, the world would be missing of one of its greatest fast food establishments. So I propose a toast to Glen Bell, a visionary, entrepreneur, and greater man than I could ever hope to be. Thank you, Glen. Thank you for bringing college students everywhere affordable, tasty munchables; for bringing us quick, delicious meals during our work breaks; and for bringing us the beloved Chihuahua, and so much more. Thank you Glen, for the smiles on our faces when we open up that wrapper and bite into a little slice of drunk person’s heaven. May you rest in peace, enjoy the infinite supply of angeltacos you have surely earned.

A lot of people raised objections to a new Dodge Charger commercial when it premiered during the Superbowl, mostly along the lines of “it’s tacky, misogynistic, and lame.” So, inevitably, someone made a spoof of it to post on the internet. Here is that spoof, a “rebuttal” from the female perspective. And it’s, um, PERFECT. Seriously, if it was a real ad, I would buy whatever it was selling for my mom (she’s a third-wave feminist).

(via Alex Blaggazine)

[Ed. Note: We at The Yeti love politics. We also love poetry. Most of all, though, we love combining things we love.]

A HAIKU ON CONSERVATIVE PRINCIPLES:

Time-tested truths, like
“The gov that govs least govs best.”
(Somalia rules!)

A GHAZALVILLANELLE ON NATIONAL SECURITY

[Ed. Note: Originally I wanted the national security poem to be a ghazal, an ancient Arabian poetic form, for irony. But ghazals are super difficult and complicated, so I wrote a villanelle that steals pretty heavily from Dylan Thomas' classic "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" instead.]

Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights,
We must oblige our enemies if they want to call it war;
After all, America is always looking for a fight.

The Muslim snuck in ‘cause our security wasn’t tight,
They should have made him strip, drop his pants to the floor;
Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.

And that other country, Yemen, should be in our bombing sights—
If we aren’t killing foreigners, then what’s our freedom for?
After all, America is always looking for a fight.

We aren’t even torturing, that keeps me up at night,
The rule of law prevailing will just make them hate us more.
Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.

But Mr. President, for Iran please do what’s right.
(Psst, I heard the Ayatollah called Michelle a whore.)
After all, America is always looking for a fight.

We must shock and awe the world, must attack with all our might,
Must kill and maim our enemies, must wage an Endless War.
Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.
After all, America is always looking for a fight.

A CINQUAIN ON ECONOMIC POLICY:

Ronald
Common sense con
Did it stimulate you?
We got the cornhusker kickback
Reagan

William Blake? Who dat?

(Images via Yahoo! News)

As I’m sure you can tell, this is a trailer for the upcoming film The Losers. It looks pretty good! I for one will probably see it in theaters and try to enjoy the experience. Here are five reasons why I think you should do the same:

1. Zoe Saldana is really really, ridiculously good looking.

2. Rocket launchers!

3. It’s co-written by Peter Berg (of Friday Night Lights).

4. Something something something comic books.

5. STRINGER BELL!!! (Idris Elba, aka The Best)