The Yeti Blog

  • The Yeti’s Livetweet Coverage of the Oscars

    By

    The Oscars were on this Sunday, and just like every single otherwise reputable news organization, The Yeti was there! We were liveblogging it, from the Twitter machine. @theyetiblog was your friendly neighborhood Yetiblog editor (me, Andy) and @FSUYeti was contributing writer and Yetiblogger Ian. Here are the highlights, aka all the tweets, just all of them:

    Andy: We’re about to start @theyetiblog’s livetweeting of the Oscars! @FSUYeti will be joining in the tweeting in about a half hour.   7:51 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: As for your friendly neighborhood Yetiblogger, we will brb after we RUUUUUUUUNNNN to get a bunch of alcohol, because seriously, necessary.   7:52 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: Always drink responsibly.]

    Andy: Taylor Lautner is there, wearing a shirt! #weird   8:27 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Here go the Oscars…   8:30 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Is it starting? OK it’s starting. Livetweets, AWAAAYYY!!!   8:31 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: NPH’s jacket is going to give me a stroke   8:32 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Is Neil Patrick Harris the only person in Hollywood who’s allowed to sing at awards shows?   8:33 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: haha Meryl Streep holds the record for most losses   8:36 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: Co-host Steve Martin made a joke about thinking of having the most Oscar nominations as having the most Oscar losses.]

    Andy: Is it weird that the title “Dame” always makes me think of Lady Pimps?   8:38 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy no… no it is not   8:39 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: George Clooney didn’t want to be mentioned… I can tell   8:41 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Penelope Cruz doesn’t believe in milking humanity’s innate sadism for the sake of comedy. BOO!!!   8:45 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: These montages for the nominees seem a bit excessive.   8:45 PM Mar 7th

    [Christoph Waltz of the Quentin Tarantino film Inglorious Basterds wins Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.]

    Ian: Shocker… Waltz was awesome in “IB”8:48 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Duh times duh divided by duh to the duh power.   8:49 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Christoph Waltz should get another Oscar for fitting an entire Victorian novel into a thirty-second award acceptance speech.   8:50 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Ryan Reynolds at the oscars? Who let him in?   8:50 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: No one should ever let Ryan Reynolds speak seriously about anything.   8:51 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Was that [montage] for the blind side or sandra bullock?   8:52 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Hey! It’s Michael Scott!   8:55 PM Mar 7th

    [The nominees for Best Animated Feature are announced.]

    Ian: WOOOO MR FOX   8:56 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Shocker. Well, George Clooney, you had the most sultry voiceover, if that helps8:59 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: (Duh + Durr)/Doi^Nodoi   9:01 PM Mar 7th [Ed. Note: The Yeti believes in recycling, for the environment. Jokes count! (No they don't.)]

    [Miley Cyrus and Amanda Seyfried present the nominees for Best Song.]

    Andy: Miley Cyrus is TALL!   9:01 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Doesn’t Randy Newman have like, 12 oscars from the Toy Story songs already?   9:02 PM Mar 7th

    [T-Bone Burnett wins for "The Weary Kind" from the film Crazy Heart.]

    Andy: Does T-Bone Burnett even have eyes behind those sunglasses?   9:04 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: These original screenplay clips are awesome   9:14 PM Mar 7th

    [Now there's big John Hughes tribute. RIP John Hughes.]

    Andy: Did John Hughes ever win any Oscars?   9:18 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Macaulay (sp?) Culkin? Where’s the scream that made you famous!?!?   9:22 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Kristen Stewart was REALLY moved by that John Hughes tribute. Or maybe that’s just her face.   9:24 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: I can understand why Zoe Saldana would want to show off her incredible legs, but that dress is DISGUSTING. #didntwatchtheredcarpet   9:29 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Who’s the lady who pulled a Kanye on this guy’s speech?   9:35 PM Mar 7th [This was Elinor Burkett, producer of the Oscar-winning Documentary Short "Music By Prudence". You can read about the incident here.]

    [Ben Stiller comes out to present the award for Best Makeup dressed as a Na'vi, from Avatar.]

    Ian: hahahahahahaha ben stiller is awesome   9:38 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Blue Steel!   9:38 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: I like that Jeff Bridges introduced the Coen Bros movie montage. The Dude abides, after all.   9:44 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy Well they probably paid him with a new rug   9:47 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Are any moviemakers insulted by the commercial about tobacco product placement in movies?   9:47 PM Mar 7th

    [Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire wins Best Adapted Screenplay.]

    Andy: So Precious gets this one and Mo’Nique’s Best Supporting Actress. That’s ok. Maybe I should see Precious after all.   9:53 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy I didn’t see In the Loop, but I feel like any movie that makes a story based on a person, instead of another story, should win   9:56 PM Mar 7th

    [Mo'Nique wins Best Supporting Actress for her role in Precious.]

    Ian: Based on that clip alone, yeah, she deserved it   9:59 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: What exactly are the politics of the Best Supporting Actress Oscars? It’s not like they nominated Sigourney Weaver.   10:03 PM Mar 7th [Seriously, what decade is it, Mo'Nique?]

    [Avatar wins an Oscar, for some technical category or something.]

    Andy: And so begins Avatar’s steamrolling of all of the rest of the Oscars. Prepare yourself.   10:07 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Why is Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress trying to strangle her! Someone help Sarah Jessica Parker! #didntwatchtheredcarpet   10:10 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Time for 4 or 5 awards no one cares about…   10:11 PM Mar 7th

    [Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart introduce a montage tribute to horror movies.]

    Andy: Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart: THE FACES OF FEAR   10:19 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Haha Dusk til Dawn clip in horror movie montage… I’m still angry that they became vampires in what was becoming an awesome movie   10:22 PM Mar 7th

    [The awards for Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing are presented.]

    Ian: Hurt Locker has to win this… BOOOOOOM!   10:25 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Called it!   10:25 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: @Ian Please God let this be foreshadowing of the Best Picture award.   10:26 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Hurt Locker again….   10:26 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: WOO! 2 for 2   10:27 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy I’m rooting for Hurt Locker, Inglorious Basterds, or for the first time, a movie wins sans-nomination: Fantastic Mr. Fox   10:29 PM Mar 7th

    [Avatar wins for Best Cinematography, which was ridiculous considering it was pretty much 100% green screen CGI bells & whistles.]

    Andy: Thanking a visionary for his amazing vision, like an asshole. Sorry Mauro Fiore, it’s not really you I’m angry at.   10:37 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: James Taylor is not Paul McCartney. #sad   10:39 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: James Taylor is still alive? I figured he died of OD back in the day   10:39 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: RT @dumase I hate memorial montages, how the applause varies. Yeah some of them were more famous but they’re all DEAD so be respectful.   10:40 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Michael Jackson was in like, 1 1/2 movie, dammit!   10:41 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: No disrespect to MJ, but give him his dues at the Grammies. That spot could have gone to someone who was primarily in movies   10:42 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: @Ian The video for Thriller is better than 75% of all movies.   10:44 PM Mar 7th

    [An interpretive dance troupe interpretively dances to the music from the nominees for Best Score.]

    Andy: No, Academy Awards. No.   10:46 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Breakdancing at the oscars? I guess I HAVE seen everything… Except a man eat his own head   10:48 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: That’s not how you dance to the Fantastic Mr. Fox music. #urdoinitwrong   10:49 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: HAHAHA this guy is awesome at the robot   10:49 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy Know why avatar is going to win this category? Because the song even SOUNDS like victory   10:51 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: I AM GLAD AVATAR LOST! #schadenfreude   10:53 PM Mar 7th

    [Best Visual Effects Oscar nominees are introduced.]

    Ian: I guess whoever was best at making aliens will win this one   10:54 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Avatar wins the one award it actually deserved! Yay Avatar, way to go!   10:56 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Could we talk for a minute about how the premise of Up In the Air is patently ridiculous?   10:57 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: While Hurt Locker does deserve every nomination and win, maybe it’s dumb producers shouldn’t have been banned from the show   10:59 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Screenwriter ZING! Courtesy of your host, Alec Baldwin.   11:01 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: I heard a lot of good things about the cove. Rootin’ for it11:02 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: @Ian It was only the one [producer of The Hurt Locker] that got banned, he talked shit about Avatar in an email to Academy members or something.11:02 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Tonight is a triumph for dolphin murder. #what?#sorryeveryone   11:05 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Booooo Tyler Perryyyyyy.   11:06 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: “TEXT DOLPHIN TO 44144 FOR FREE DOLPHIN WALLPAPERS AND RINGTONES” -Bryan, friend of The Yeti   11:07 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: When is Inglorious Basterds going to get its recognition?!? It has to win SOMEthing   11:08 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: @Ian Best Supporting Actor. That’s all you can expect for a Tarantino film.   11:09 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy Well I’m still angry Brad Pitt didn’t get nominated   11:11 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Finally, it’s time for all the really good awards   11:18 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: “Will it be Avatar, Hurt Locker, Blind Side, or is a surprise in store?” I’m not too happy that they made 10 noms and only give 3 credit   11:21 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Let’s go, Jeremy Renner   11:24 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Whenever anyone talks about a guy’s “massive talent” I always and invariably assume they’re talking about his dick. #trufax   11:29 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: This is payback for snubbing The Big Lebowski. #thedudeabides   11:33 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Ya know what, I’m okay with this. Jeff Bridges is the coolest (and only) “dude” in the room   11:33 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Sandra Bullock, let’s do this.   11:41 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Would Helen Mirren be the first actor to win twice in a row?   11:43 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Helen Mirren: still a total fox at 64.   11:43 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: @Andy Agreed.   11:44 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: If Oprah EVER said ANYTHING about me, I would burst into tears. If it was something nice, I’d pee my pants.   11:46 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Seriously Oscars, are there to be ZERO upsets? I mean REALLY! #finallydrunk   11:49 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Anyone else see Meryl Streep like “Go on, git it!” to Sandra Bullock?   11:49 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: George Clooney threw Sandra Bullock into a pool? Wish I’d been at that party.   11:51 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Sandra Bullock – will you marry me? Sincerely, IPT   11:51 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: Best Actor and Actress winners get too much time to talk. #populism?   11:53 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: There’s never been a black Best Director winner? Really? 2010? FAIL.   11:54 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: BOOSH! HURT LOCKER FOR THE WIN!!!   11:55 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Katheryn Bigelow, congrats. That movie was the best I’ve seen in ages.   11:55 PM Mar 7th

    Andy: James Cameron looks pissed. FUCK YOU, JAMES CAMERON!!!   11:58 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: What kind of a title is “Academy Governor?”   11:58 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: Woah – Tom Hanks, you came outta nowhere with that!   11:59 PM Mar 7th

    Ian: See 3 tweets previous.   12:00 AM Mar 8th

    Andy: Hurt Locker won Best Picture YAAAAAYYY! Cheer up James Cameron, you are a multi-millionaire.   12:00 AM Mar 8th

    Andy: “THIS WIN MAKES UP FOR THE INTERPRETIVE DANCING (No it doesnt)” -Camille, friend of The Yeti   12:01 AM Mar 8th

    Andy: Well that ended extremely abruptly–just the way we like it! If only the rest of the presentations could have followed Tom Hanks’ example.   12:04 AM Mar 8th

    Andy: Thank you and good night everyone! The Yeti loves you!   12:04 AM Mar 8th

    Ian: Well all, it’s been fun, but here ends my Oscar livetweet coverage. Thanks to Andy for backing me up, and follow me @IanPT89. & thanks to…   12:07 AM Mar 8th

    Well that was The Yeti’s coverage of the Oscars! The Hurt Locker beat out Avatar in every category they competed for, I think, which means sexism is over, hooray! nothing, really. Oh well. See you next year, Oscars!

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  • Boobs & Coke: The Angie Valencia Story

    By Louis Allred, Jr.
    Guest Blogger

    This is a story about Argentinian lingerie model Angie Valencia, and her alleged cocaine ring.

    That’s NOT her. That’s an insurance broker. But, she owns the domain name angievalencia.com. I just wanted to let you know in case you ran there hoping for some glamour shots. THAT’S NOT HER. This is her:

    You know, for a lingerie model, she seems to have NO other photos online. Just this blurry scan that keeps getting used. Just how good of a lingerie model is she?

    Anyway, this headline grabbed me, obviously:

    “Lingerie model Angie Valencia running global cocaine ring — using fellow catwalkers as mules: cops”

    Hot chicks engaged in high-stakes crimes? Possibly in their underwear? That sounds awesome!

    Oh, wait. Yeah.

    Few details seem to have come out about this yet, but in a nutshell, Valencia is accused of running a cocaine ring, using fellow models as drug mules. (They were known as “Angels,” like Charlie’s, except they ran coke, and were probably not familiar with wirework.) Every day, they’d stock up on 100 pounds of coke (or, more than they weighed), and fly from Buenos Aires to Cancun or England to offload. They were pulling $5k per trip, much more than the usual $0 Craigslist ad that promises “EXPOSURE and FOOD!”

    This sexy house of sexy cards came tumbling down sexily when one of the models was caught with coke at Ezeiza International Airport. Apparently, she didn’t even hide the coke in the bag, leading investigators to believe she had “help from employees.” Look, I don’t run drugs, but if I did, EVEN if I had inside assistance, I’m still getting the luggage with the false bottoms. If movies have taught me anything – and they have taught me everything – it’s that the “inside men” usually screw things up. So, cover your ass, and get the right bags.

    So, as expected, Valencia is at large, and has been for two months, “with her beloved Pomeranian dog.” Because drug lords, first and foremost, need to ensure Miss Schnookypoops is protected. That’s how they got Pablo Escobar; they put a tracking device on his calico. (They did not do that.) Some other fun facts:

    • She was named Colombia’s “Queen of Coffee” in 2000. Don’t worry; I took the title back in 2001.
    • She started dealing drugs after splitting from “a Mexican drug lord known as The Monster.” Hey, if I broke up with a woman who only owned a small snow-globe business, I would still avoid the snow-globe industry. Valencia’s got some balls cutting in on The Monster’s territory, especially considering he’s nicknamed THE MONSTER. I doubt he got that nickname because he cut “monster deals.”

    And bravo to the New York Daily News for the following lovely bon mot:

    “The voluptuous Valencia, named Queen of Coffee in her native Colombia in 2000, apparently moved into stronger stimulants last year after quitting her modeling career.”

    Ha! Y’know, like cocaine, where people get killed and their heads removed and sent to their families! Clever girl, NYDN. You can sniff out a joke like a bloodhound.

    Look, I want this case to be more exciting. Hopefully, there will be a speedboat chase, where a cocksure, plays-by-his-own-rules FBI agent has to take down Valencia while Michael Cera pilots the boat. (How did his son-in-law ever get caught up in this mess? It’s a laugh riot!) But, no; she’ll either be found hiding out in the Caymans in a month, or we’ll never see her again. Such is the sad divide between fiction and reality: even when Xenu hands us a ridiculously Hollywood-friendly scenario such as this, it’s just going to disappoint.

    Unless we find out she stole a speedboat. And that, for some reason, Queen Latifah is chasing her. Then it’ll be fun.

    [via NY Daily News]

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  • Cute Animal Alert: Puppies + The Beatles = <3

    By Andy Pacheco-Fores
    Views editor

    Do we even need to explain?

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  • Cute Animal Alert: Kitten Vocalizes Gustatory Satisfaction

    By Elizabeth Lacquement
    Contributing Writer

    Dear little kitty,

    My mother would love it if her children responded with as much delight and joy as you do while eating your cat food. It’s hard to smile and rub your stomach when you are eating leftovers for the third night in a row! But obviously it isn’t hard for you.

    I wish I could bring you to all of the family dinners and have you sit next to me. Unlike a dog who just sucks in food, showing no appreciation to the flavor or taste, you would make anyone feel like a great cook. Nyom nyom nyom nyom!

    If only you had been there the day my grandma made me eat an egg sandwich on dry wheat bread. Maybe you could have eaten it in my place.

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  • Cute Animal Alert: Turns Out Angry Koala Bears Are Terrifying

    By Elizabeth Lacquement
    Contributing writer

    I thought that koala bears were supposed to be like those adorable stuffed bears I used to carry around with me when I was little! I was so wrong.

    From now on, my koala bear stuffed animal will not have the privilege of sleeping beside me. Oh no. He will go on the floor- for all I know he might want to rip my throat open.

    There are two things especially crazy about this video:

    1. Koala bears actually moving!

    2. The noises coming out of their cute little bodies sound more like death threats from the Devil.

    But I’m also a little worried about the person taping this epic charade. He seems very, very concerned.

    Perhaps these koalas just need to get a little more sleep in their 16-18 sleeping periods. Or maybe they should think about switching up their diet. It just occurred to me that koalas eat eucalyptus leaves, which are poisonous to other mammals.

    What kind of cute creature would eat something that’s poison to other cute creatures? The evil kind, that’s what.

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  • The IMAX: Hubble 3D Movie Looks INCREDIBLE!

    By Phillip Garami
    Staff Blogger

    I went to see Avatar with my family in a packed suburban movie theater, and truth be told the only thing that sticks out in my memory now are the trailers, one in particular. Sure, everybody—including myself—made a little gasp or a yummy sound when we saw the words on the green-band message before the trailers lift off of the screen. But they mostly blurred together. It was a slew of standard family fare, such as the latest unnecessary Shrek movie, another Robert Zemeckis animated feature, and a lot of magical sparkly things flying across the screen in 3D. The main attraction hadn’t even started and the audience was already moaning and groaning like the proverbial money shot was imminent. Then the theater fell silent, and it was my turn to blow my movie-going load. A deep orchestral hum started up, the NASA logo appeared, and then the huge IMAX screen was filled with stars and wide angle shots of space equipment.

    Call me a dork, but the IMAX: Hubble 3D trailer made me feel like a little boy on Christmas. It seemed completely out of place among all the kids’ movies, and the audience’s silent reaction seemed to agree with me.

    I can see how it might be hard to get pumped for a movie that seems like it was made for science centers and museums. But I’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff produced by the Hubble telescope. The Ultra Deep Field 3D—that one time they pointed it at a patch of blank sky for over a week, found an unbelievable amount of galaxies clustered there, and made them into a 3D collage—was pretty memorable.

    Stuff like that gets me hooked on the idea of a space documentary with that all-important third dimension added in.

    Avatar alone gave me fleeting waves of vertigo; I can only imagine the head popping potential for this movie. Is anyone else with me, or am I just a nerd?

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  • For Whom the Taco Bell Tolls (An Obituary)

    By Xavier Kong
    Staff writer


    Image via ABCNews

    Fast food pioneer and visionary Glen Bell, Jr. died in his home on January 16, 2010, at the age of 86. He brought the world one of the most famous businesses in America: Taco Bell.

    Bell was born on September 3, 1923. He was one of Glen and Ruth Bell’s six children. Raised in California, he served in the Marines during World War II. Upon his return to California, he first got into the fast food by opening up a few drive-in stands in the late 1940s. Originally he had a hamburger stand, which competed with the other drive-in places around, but his fondness for Mexican food drove him to found Taco Bell. Bell first sold tacos at his stand for a mere 19 cents, and they became so popular that he opened up Taco Tias with a single partner in 1954. In 1956 Bell sold the Taco Tias because his partner no longer wanted to expand the franchise. One year after selling Taco Tias he opened El Taco with three other partners, but after realizing he didn’t want to answer to partners anymore, he struck out on his own and opened the first Taco Bell in 1962 in Downey, California. His initial $4,000 investment in the restaurant soon turned into a money-making machine. In two years he opened eight more Taco Bells, with grand openings featuring live salsa music, free sombreros, and searchlights. The chain grew rapidly. By the time it was bought out by PepsiCo in 1978, there were already 868 franchises open. Now the company claims to operate more than 5,800 franchises and serve over 2 billion customers a year in the United States.

    I can’t even begin to put into words how much this man has impacted my life. I’ve made many many many drunken runs to the Bell—even sober ones. I never met the man, but without him, the world would be missing of one of its greatest fast food establishments. So I propose a toast to Glen Bell, a visionary, entrepreneur, and greater man than I could ever hope to be. Thank you, Glen. Thank you for bringing college students everywhere affordable, tasty munchables; for bringing us quick, delicious meals during our work breaks; and for bringing us the beloved Chihuahua, and so much more. Thank you Glen, for the smiles on our faces when we open up that wrapper and bite into a little slice of drunk person’s heaven. May you rest in peace, enjoy the infinite supply of angeltacos you have surely earned.

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  • Women’s Last Stand: Superbowl Dodge Commercial Spoof

    By Andy Pacheco-Fores
    Views editor

    A lot of people raised objections to a new Dodge Charger commercial when it premiered during the Superbowl, mostly along the lines of “it’s tacky, misogynistic, and lame.” So, inevitably, someone made a spoof of it to post on the internet. Here is that spoof, a “rebuttal” from the female perspective. And it’s, um, PERFECT. Seriously, if it was a real ad, I would buy whatever it was selling for my mom (she’s a third-wave feminist).

    (via Alex Blaggazine)

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  • Sarah Palin’s Keynote Speech at the National Tea Party Convention: A Poetry Reading

    By Andy Pacheco-Fores
    Views Editor

    [Ed. Note: We at The Yeti love politics. We also love poetry. Most of all, though, we love combining things we love.]

    A HAIKU ON CONSERVATIVE PRINCIPLES:

    Time-tested truths, like
    “The gov that govs least govs best.”
    (Somalia rules!)

    A GHAZALVILLANELLE ON NATIONAL SECURITY

    [Ed. Note: Originally I wanted the national security poem to be a ghazal, an ancient Arabian poetic form, for irony. But ghazals are super difficult and complicated, so I wrote a villanelle that steals pretty heavily from Dylan Thomas' classic "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" instead.]

    Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights,
    We must oblige our enemies if they want to call it war;
    After all, America is always looking for a fight.

    The Muslim snuck in ‘cause our security wasn’t tight,
    They should have made him strip, drop his pants to the floor;
    Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.

    And that other country, Yemen, should be in our bombing sights—
    If we aren’t killing foreigners, then what’s our freedom for?
    After all, America is always looking for a fight.

    We aren’t even torturing, that keeps me up at night,
    The rule of law prevailing will just make them hate us more.
    Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.

    But Mr. President, for Iran please do what’s right.
    (Psst, I heard the Ayatollah called Michelle a whore.)
    After all, America is always looking for a fight.

    We must shock and awe the world, must attack with all our might,
    Must kill and maim our enemies, must wage an Endless War.
    Do not be so gentle as to give terrorists rights.
    After all, America is always looking for a fight.

    A CINQUAIN ON ECONOMIC POLICY:

    Ronald
    Common sense con
    Did it stimulate you?
    We got the cornhusker kickback
    Reagan

    William Blake? Who dat?

    (Images via Yahoo! News)

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  • 5 Reasons You Should Be Excited to See “The Losers”

    By Andy Pacheco-Fores
    Views Editor

    As I’m sure you can tell, this is a trailer for the upcoming film The Losers. It looks pretty good! I for one will probably see it in theaters and try to enjoy the experience. Here are five reasons why I think you should do the same:

    1. Zoe Saldana is really really, ridiculously good looking.

    2. Rocket launchers!

    3. It’s co-written by Peter Berg (of Friday Night Lights).

    4. Something something something comic books.

    5. STRINGER BELL!!! (Idris Elba, aka The Best)

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